Up And Atom!

Our Rocky Flats contest did a booming business.

When we offered last month to help the U.S. Department of Energy find a new name for Denver's nuclear bomb factory, we weren't just blowing smoke. In fact, our fission expedition generated a whopping 14.2 tons of entries! And while we could pick only one winner, they all got glowing marks--from civic-minded sobriquets to obscenities deemed unsuitable for nuclear families.

Here's a partial list, followed by the grand-prize winner, a radiant beauty that--believe it or not--was discovered wedged in one of our air ducts! Have a blast!

Bombs Away!
Slop of the Rockies
Glowing Waters
Risky Flats
Cover-Up Valley
Radville
Flat Broke
Doom With a View
Rotten Flats
Misery Mesa
After-Glow Acres
Toxic Town
Aurora West
Triggertown
Rocky Horror
Plutonium Plaza
Hot Springs National Park
Oncology Flats
Rad Rocks
Big Crater National Park
Focus on the Nuclear Family
Plutonium University (P.U.)
Fluorescent Flats
Drop Dead Valley
Sparkle Parts Valley
Toxo Bell
Plutonium National Park
Armageddon Acres
Nortonville
Finesilver's Folly
Hotter Than Hell:
Toxic Rats at Rocky Flats
Atoms Family Play-A-Rama & Putt-Putt
Gamma Ray Junction
Cleveland Heights
Denver International Airport
Never-Dark Park
Nite-Lite National Park
Burial Hills 80403
Melt Down:
Red, White and Blooey
Half-Life National Park
Liar, Liar, Plant's on Fire
And the winner, with a guaranteed half-life of 24,000 years...
Boom Town!

 
 
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