E: "Put on your dancing shoes," Frey says before kicking off "You Belong to the City," a solo hit with a disco beat that hasn't aged well. A background musician is shaking a percussion instrument that looks like a coin purse as Frey roughens up his voice until he sounds every bit as ballsy as Huey Lewis. Things improve when the group plays other songs not associated with the Eagles, including Henley's "Boys of Summer" and "Dirty Laundry." The band doesn't do anything different with these numbers, and with the exception of Walsh, whose medication seems to have kicked in, they don't move much, either, but the cuts are more energetic than the material in the first half of the show. When Frey tells Denver to "give it back" prior to "Heartache Tonight," he sounds exactly like Urkel from Family Matters.
PF: Wooo! Yellow lasers! Green lasers! Explosions! Flames! After Gilmour introduces "Comfortably Numb" as the Floyd's last pre-encore song, I write in my notebook that the song's title would accurately describe my marijuana-fueled state if only I had three or four burritos. At that moment, Deb says, "Doesn't Taco Bell sound really good about now?" As the song's conclusion nears, a mirrored ball the size of a cement mixer rises from the middle of the stadium, then opens. In unison, several people close by scream at each other with delight: "Aaargh!" A teenager lies curled in a ball by the closest aisle. When he regains consciousness, he's going to be really mad he missed this.
E: Upon returning for the first encore, Henley tells the crowd that the band will be playing another new song, earning a few scattered boos. He adds that the song is called "Get Over It," which he describes as an attack on self-pity. "Everyone's a victim of this, a victim of that," snaps the man who sang "Victim of Love" about ninety minutes earlier. The tune itself is okay, but the Eagles singing an anti-whining song is tantamount to Dan Quayle hosting a spelling bee.
PF: The Floyd is doing an encore! Playing "Hey You" and some other song that, in my altered state, I can't remember! I can't remember what the band looks like, either, because I haven't looked at them for the past hour! But that's okay! And so is Gilmour, who's playing his trademark guitar solo again! It's just like all his other solos--which is exactly why we like it! And there are lasers! And more lasers! And fireworks erupting from the stage! Wooo! Pink fucking Floyd!
E: The Eagles come back for a second encore, and a third. Frey says that the band will end the show with "Take It Easy"--something they've been doing all night. Following the last note, five minutes of credits begin to roll across the video screens: Cited for their contributions are a masseuse, a hair stylist and the tour accountant. While walking to the exit, I'm struck by a frightening malady: Seventies nostalgia. I tell Deb that I feel like going to a fern bar, snorting some coke and sleeping with my best friend's wife. She tells me not to get too carried away, and after going home and turning on a Soundgarden video, I realize what good advice that was.
