THE YEAR IN REVIEW

It was unclear whether troopers investigating the incident questioned Lakewood City Councilman Mike McFadden, who, it was revealed after his election, had served time in prison following a drag-racing accident in Iowa. McFadden's skeleton in the closet caused a ruckus on the Lakewood council, but nothing like the brouhaha that broke out in Wheat Ridge after Councilman Vance Edwards called Mayor Dan Wilde "an unethical son of a bitch" and Wilde slugged him--all live on cable TV. Wheat Ridge councilman Dennis Hall later got into the spirit, resigning after citizens began circulating petitions calling for his recall. Said the avuncular councilman, "You can take these petitions and shove them, because I quit."

Arvada City Councilwoman Joanne Conte, the area's only politician known to have undergone a sex-change operation, made headlines again by filing a workers' compensation claim arguing that a staph infection in her right elbow may have been caused by excessive leaning on her desk during council meetings. Conte didn't get her money. Jefferson County Democrats suffered a similar rebuff when they asked a judge to allow votes to be counted for Tom Kaufmann, a candidate for the state legislature who died a month before the election.

The happy-go-lucky Cherry Creek Republican Women, however, had a ball answering telephones during a Channel 6 fund drive. The organization later reported that one of its members was offered a left testicle as a pledge, while another woman was offered $100 to strip down and tap dance nude. "The group had fun," added the CCRW, "and will return for the winter membership drive."

In the end, if anyone was qualified to sort out the year's events, political and otherwise, it was Stew Webb, Denver's leading conspiracy theorist. This year, Webb actually began telemarketing his labyrinthine theories of international intrigue, selling a $25 video that featured, among other items, his contention that while vice president, George Bush personally molested thirty children after having them spirited out of orphanages with the help of fellow perverts in Congress. Alas, Webb was arrested by Las Vegas police--after he went to that city's police station to pick up a copy of a national crime computer report on himself.

end of part 2