THE UGLY TRUTH

3. LEMMY KILLMEISTER
Poor Lemmy hears no end of comments about his appearance--at one point, his group, Motorhead, was named the "Ugliest Band Ever" by Creem magazine. But Killmeister deserves the honor: With his sloped forehead, greasy hair and cantaloupe-sized warts, he isn't exactly a lock to win People's "Sexiest Man Alive" contest. That's probably fine by him, however: Even if he is missing a chromosome or two, you can be certain that his girlfriend is better-looking than yours will ever be. Which pretty much sums up the point of this entire article, don't you think?

2. G.G. ALLIN
Allin may have been the single most repugnant human being ever to walk the face of this or any other planet. When he wasn't setting people on fire, sodomizing himself with a microphone or rolling in broken glass, he spent his time ingesting large amounts of grain alcohol and slurping up his own excrement. He died of--surprise!--a cocaine overdose last year, but his scarred torso and crude, prison-issue tattoos will remain in our nightmares for years to come.

1. THE NELSON TWINS
Okay, we know that some of you believe Matthew and Gunnar Nelson are as lovely as the average Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. But this pair is actually so attractive that it hurts to look at them. Are they the by-product of some bizarre genetic experiment gone awry? Or are they simply breastless Barbies brought to life like the killer doll in Child's Play? No one knows, which is why FBI agents Mulder and Scully will be looking into the various theories during a future episode of The X Files. Still, there's a lesson we can learn from these Greek clods: Sometimes ugliness isn't so bad. Just consider the alternative.