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OFF LIMITS

Undress for success: As the ludicrous trend toward "dress-down" or "casual" days catches on, the clothing industry has spun off entire lines of pricey, Friday-appropriate duds for those folks whose actual casual attire doesn't cut the corporate mustard, and personnel directors are keeping themselves busy writing memo after memo banning midriff tops. (Already casual offices have a tougher time defining the correct look--what do you tell reporters who routinely wear surgical scrubs? To switch to open-back hospital gowns on Fridays?) Even the feds are fed up with inappropriate dressers; last week, Gina Guy, Denver-based regional solicitor for the Department of the Interior, briefed her legal colleagues:

"Dress-down Fridays. If this is to continue, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday should be `dress-up.' Even on Fridays, please dress accordingly (business attire) if you have meetings with people from outside our office whether the meeting is here or elsewhere unless you are certain casual attire will be prevalent at the outside meeting. [Editor's note: Remember some unsightly short shorts if you're scheduled for a jog with President Bill Clinton.]

"`Dress-down' means neat casual attire, including sweaters, polo shirts, sports shirts and jeans, but it does not mean sport shorts for either men or women, bathing suits, lycra bike clothes, sundresses, halter tops, T-shirts, warmups/sweatsuits, leggings, or tennis/mini-skirts (more than about 2" above knee), or your painting or gardening ensembles.

"Business attire is appropriate for both male and female attorneys while in the office or while attending meetings or conferences elsewhere unless you are certain that attire at the outside event will be casual...For males, this means a suit, or slacks and jacket, dress shirt and necktie, with appropriate footwear; for women, it means daytime suits, dresses, pantsuits or coordinated separates, with appropriate footwear, hemlines and necklines...Male attorneys who wish to do so may continue to remove ties while working alone or with others from our office (vis-a-vis meeting with clients or others) in their private offices or the conference rooms...

"Thanks for your cooperation in presenting an image to others that reflects what a fine part of the Department's `national law firm' you are."

Not to mention presenting another fine example of our tax dollars at work.

A royal pain: The dozens of passengers who missed their flights after DIA's trains shut down last Monday will be happy to learn that Princess Di was inconvenienced not one whit. While concourses B and C were effectively cut off from the main terminal for hours, Di had no problem making her connection. That's because a private car pulled right up to the jetway, transferring the royal entourage to a private plane that took Di and sons to points unknown. By the time back-up buses were ready to shuttle more plebeian passengers, the computers had been unglitched and the trains were up and running. Guess which travelers rated the ten o'clock news?

Fortunately, Di was well on her way by Wednesday, when the temperature reached 100 degrees--and DIA's air-conditioning shut down.

Court time: Move over, O.J.--Court TV's programming starts at 7 a.m. (MDT) Wednesday with "coverage from Denver of Roberts v. Scheriff." That's the case that the Denver Athletic Club's manager, Glenn Roberts, brought against former member Martin Scheriff, accusing him of such defaming perfidy as distributing fliers with Roberts in a Hitler mustache.

 
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