By Joel Warner
By Michael Roberts
By Alan Prendergast
By Michael Roberts
By Michael Roberts
By Amber Taufen
By Patricia Calhoun
By William Breathes
After a Lakewood woman told her two grade-school-age daughters to "go ahead and leave if the grass is greener," the girls left the house in a rainstorm wearing their pajamas, robes and slippers.
Taken for Granted
The U.S. Justice Department gave $85,000 to the Colorado Springs Police Department to study an experimental treatment in which patients recall traumatic events and therapists "waggle their fingers in the patients' faces" to help relieve stress.
A $400,000 federal grant given to a group of Colorado State University professors produced the finding that adolescent boys like watching beer advertisements on TV.
"Hi, I'm Gus, and I've Been a Very Naughty Boy"
A Silverthorne snowplow driver was charged with fourteen counts of second-degree burglary after allegedly breaking into private homes and using the telephones to call 1-900 sex numbers.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Officials in the Boulder Valley School District asked girls on a high-school athletic team to cool it after they threw bras and pantyhose out the window of their school bus and held up their thumbs and forefingers to indicate the physical shortcomings of "Mr. Pervert," a man who allegedly drove alongside their bus while masturbating.
Don't Get Locked Into a Deal
Officials in Douglas County announced plans to put the county jail up for sale because the 19-bedroom, 24-bath facility was "about the last downtown location available for development."
He Musta Been Chillin' in His Crib
Police were on the lookout for alleged Denver bank robber "Baby Dip" Gray.
Just Try Getting "The Job" With "The Degree"
Metropolitan State College of Denver proposed changing its name to "The Met."
The Welcome Wagon
The federal Immigration and Naturalization Service reported that smugglers are now offering illegal immigrants stretch-limousine rides from the Mexican border to Denver that include such amenities as a VCR and bottled spring water.
The Rat Pack
The "Pocket Pets" show in Denver featured star rodents from the Rat and Mouse Club of America, including "Gizmo, the Yankee Doodle Rat," who appeared dressed in patriotic garb, and "Telly Savalas," a hairless rat with one red eye and one black eye.
The Bat Pack
Bat panic gripped the state after an eleven-year-old Greeley girl found a rabid bat in her driveway and her fifteen-year-old brother dissected it.
A Weld County environmental specialist confirmed several sightings of "bats flying around bedrooms at night."
A Greeley bat was seen "dive-bombing a pair of dogs at 3 o'clock in the afternoon."
A woman in La Plata County received rabies shots after being bitten by a bat she found hanging on her pant leg.
A Routt County woman woke to find a rabid bat in her hair but beat the creature to death with her shoe before it could bite her.
As for Liver and Onions...
Jefferson County Coroner Wilbur Richie reported losing his sense of smell after years of working with strong chemicals: "It makes my job easier, but steak just doesn't taste the same anymore."
Officers on Patrol, Part 7
The Boulder County Sheriff's Department awarded its "Citizen Recognition Plaque" to two men who saved a goat from a dog attack.
The National Examiner ran a story about the DPL's good fortune between an article headlined "Skunk Ape: The Incredible Swamp Monster" and one titled "Mobsters Battle Over Giant Clams."
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Coco the yellow-headed parrot was stolen from his northwest Denver home and held for a $1,500 ransom.
What's in a Name?
* "Gully" Cano-Vega was found dead in a ditch near Haxtun.
* Thomas J. Blackbear was arrested for allegedly mauling his siblings in a family fight and then scratching an employee at Denver Health Medical Center on the arm.
* Skinhead supremacist Nathan Thill's Cub Scout troop leaders? The Whites (Tom and Kathy).
* Curtiss Copp was arrested on suspicion of second-degree murder.
* Claudia Dulude ran the Colorado Speakers Bureau.
* Bonnie McNutt represented Denver at Dove Soap's "Singing in the Shower Contest" in Hollywood.
* A pre-release facility for prison inmates in Weld County operated under the name "Villa at Greeley."
According to a lawsuit filed by a female Denver Police Department dispatcher, women on duty sometimes received computer messages from male co-workers about the "BVD Bandit," who allegedly intended to steal their underwear.
The Police Got a Tip
The getaway of a man accused of kidnapping his fifteen-month-old son was foiled when a babysitter watching the child bit off part of the man's finger.
* A front-loader operator in Clear Creek County died when his vehicle tumbled down an embankment off what locals refer to as "Oh My God Road."
* A mountain biker died after missing a jump in an out-of-bounds area at the Colorado National Monument and riding off a 250-foot cliff.
* A nursery worker in Arapahoe County was crushed to death by a vat of liquid fertilizer.