Savage Love

Pierre

Hey, Pierre:
Got me there. Our Wal-Mart test had fatal flaws, which is Kevin's fault, of course. We were able to salvage our experiment, though. We took some pictures of a dog kissing me (lots of tongue) and sent them to a Wal-Mart in Maine. Soon we'll know whether Wal-Mart is pro-bestiality.

Hey, Dan:
Your advice to the woman who didn't like the taste of come to get used to it and swallow sucked. A far better response would have been to spit.

Agnew

Hey, Agnew:
Come on. The woman I advised to acquire a taste for come didn't want to swallow because she didn't like the taste. Your tastebuds are on top of your tongue, toward the front of your mouth. If you allow your partner to come in your mouth, then hold the come in your mouth before spitting, where's the come? Right on top of your tastebuds. Either you get used to the taste or refrain from letting people come in your mouth...unless...you can jam his cock down your throat when he starts to come. That way, the come will shoot straight into your stomach, and your tastebuds will be spared.

Hey, Dan:
One day the world will discover that you make up your letters. Some of your advice is enlightening, but you tell lies like the rest of the commercial world. Why don't you at least make an effort to do a legitimate column?

Disappointed

Hey, Disappointed:
Why would you waste time baring false witness--accusing me of making up my letters--when the truth is so much more damning? First, while there are lies in my column, they're generally not in the questions; they're in the answers. Second, I'm lazy. Writing the questions as well as the answers would mean more work for me. Like all legitimate advice columnists, my readers write half my column. I write the other half, but I get all the money. That's the way it works in this part of the commercial world, and that's the way I like it.

Have a question for Dan Savage? Write: Savage Love, c/o Westword, P.O. Box 5970, Denver, CO 80217, or e-mail him at letters@savagelove.net.

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