Savage Love


Hey, C:
No, I haven't heard of "decanting," nor have I heard of "mudslides" (gay men crapping and pissing in a room filled with dirt), or "donkey punching" (gay men knocking their sex partners out with a blow to the back of the head as they fuck), or "booger planting" (gay men with small penises fucking gay men with large noses in the nostrils), or "pigs in a blanket" (gay men wrapping sausages in pancakes and serving them to friends with butter and syrup), or any of the other bizarre and implausible "gay" sex practices straight people are absolutely obsessed with. Are any of these things real? Only in the imaginations of some straight people whose sex lives are so dull that they have to make up bizarre bullshit about mine.

Speaking of bizarre bullshit: Just Shoot Me star David Spade used the word "fag" in an interview with Playboy magazine, sending the fags over at the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation into a press-release-writing frenzy. Spade joked that Just Shoot Me producers were constantly trying to "fag me up...[but] when I get too faggy, they have me make out with a chick." GLAAD spokesfag Scott Seomin slammed Spade for using "derogatory" and "hurtful" terms, claiming "fag" and "faggy" are comparable to "racial or ethnic slurs," and demanded that Spade apologize.

David, don't worry about anything GLAAD says--most gays and lesbians don't--and don't apologize. If Scott Seomin didn't find things to get upset about, he'd be out of a job. The vast majority of gays and lesbians use the word "fag" as a noun, a verb and an adjective, and "fag" really isn't comparable to racial or ethnic slurs like, oh, say, "nigger" or "kike." Gays and lesbians have "dyke marches," wear T-shirts with fruit jokes on them, and chant "Fags and dykes and queers--oh, my!" at demonstrations. The word is so commonly used by gay men that we can't object when straight comedians use it, too, and use it in the exact same way we do: not as a slur, but as a joke. Get over it, GLAAD.

Have a question for him? Write: Savage Love, c/o Westword, P.O. Box 5970, Denver, CO 80217 or e-mail him at

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