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A Zero's Welcome

Zang's got a great location--too bad the food got lost on the way.

After over twenty years in business, the Zang Brewing Co. just won the location, location, location lottery.

The original Zang Brewing Co. belonged to Bavarian immigrant and would-be miner Philip Zang, who bought the failing Rocky Mountain Brewery after he failed to strike it rich in the gold fields. He did much better with beverages: At one point, Zang made half of the beer in Colorado, and there were twelve buildings in the brewery's Platte Valley facility. In 1940 a group of businessmen bought the complex, and all of the buildings were eventually sold off and torn down -- except one. Although beer was never made in the remaining Zang structure, once a hotel for the Teamsters who drove the beer wagons (there are still twelve rooms upstairs to prove it), the downstairs has supposedly been a fully operational restaurant or bar since 1871.

But while the building's clearly historic, the restaurant that now occupies it should be history.

Something old, nothing new: The Zang Brewing Co. has little to offer visitors to the Platte Valley.
Q Crutchfield
Something old, nothing new: The Zang Brewing Co. has little to offer visitors to the Platte Valley.

Location Info

Map

Zang Brewing Company

2301 7th St.
Denver, CO 80211-5218

Category: Bars and Clubs

Region: Northwest Denver

In 1976, current owners L. and D. Restaurant Enterprises purchased the Victorian storefront at the edge of I-25 and revamped it as the trendy Zang Brewing Co. At the time, events at nearby Mile High Stadium and McNichols Arena were all that kept the Platte Valley from seeming completely deserted, and the restaurant's ambitious menu was quickly downscaled to sports-bar fare. But then Coors Field went up, Elitch's moved, Ocean Journey took up residence across the street, and the Pepsi Center deal was inked. And so today Zang's, as the locals call it, sits on prime real estate.

I wound up there after a long day at Ocean Journey. Although we'd visited the aquarium's snack bar -- where, of course, the best thing on the menu is the fish and chips -- as I dragged my kids to the parking lot, they complained that they were still hungry. That's when I noticed the big sign hanging off the side of Zang's: Good Food, Reasonable Prices, and Kids Are Welcome.

Perfect, I thought.

But truth in advertising obviously does not apply to plastic signs hanging from the sides of historic buildings. The food wasn't good (in fact, I didn't find one thing that I'd be willing to eat again), the prices were standard for the sort of cheap sports swill that Zang's serves, and my kids were welcomed only to the extent that the drunks watching football and the gals smoking in the ladies' room thought they were cute. (My girls thought those folks were cute, too.)

The place was so crowded on this Saturday evening that it was standing room only in the bar area, and the revelers spilled over into the main eating area -- which was so smoke-filled I thought we were going to develop asthma on the spot. (Zang's also has a great patio out back, which is everyone's first seating choice during the warm-weather months.) "Dark Side of the Moon" blared in the background, and periodically an announcement boomed over the loudspeaker that anyone who wanted a ride to the ZZ Top concert could get on the bus out front.

What decade was this?

The filth covering the walls and the floor looked like it could date back to the nineteenth century -- which might be historically accurate but was also unappetizing. Ditto for Zang's chiles rellenos ($6.95), which seemed to have been made in the 1980s. The Anaheim peppers were so tough they had to be sawed with a knife, and the coating was something I'd never before encountered on a relleno (or, for that matter, on anything other than a raincoat). The leathery consistency outside indicated the chiles had been previously frozen -- and not recently. Inside was a curdy white cheese that turned into rubber-eraser material as soon as it hit the air. Yum. These packages were supposed to come smothered in Zang's green chile but appeared to have been only briefly dipped in the stuff, as though the kitchen were trying to conserve it. And while the menu had promised the chile was "HOT, man!" it not only was NOT HOT, man! but also sported an odd chemical taste. The rellenos came with a side of low-grade canned refried beans into which three tortilla chips had been stuck, as well as a pile of the usual rice, lettuce, tomatoes and black olives, none of which helped this dish in the slightest.

While beer clearly flows freely at Zang's, the kitchen is also stingy with liquids other than the chile. We'd ordered one of the two possible choices on the optimistically named "pick-a-pasta" section (both possibilities involved linguine and char-grilled chicken); the marinara with char-grilled chicken breast ($8.95) contained maybe three tablespoons' worth of sauce that was not zesty, as the menu had claimed, but tasted simply like cooked-down tomatoes to which sugar had been added to make the sauce sweeter and cut its acidity. (If any herbs had been added, we couldn't find them.) And while the chicken was tender and had a nice char, we could find only three chunks of it, which added up to about a quarter of a breast. I'd ordered the pasta for my kids to split -- but even though it cost more than two kids' meals, the server couldn't be bothered to bring an extra bowl (hey, I would have split the entree myself). Nor did she take the extra steps of offering booster chairs, bringing extra napkins or putting the drinks in cups smaller than large tumblers filled to the very top. If this is how Zang's welcomes kids, I'd hate to see how it discourages them.

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