Cross Purposes

Not just another roadside attraction, descansos mark the landscape of the human heart.

A A A Comments By Harrison Fletcher Thursday, Oct 28 1999

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Six months have passed since Robert visited the place where Lenny died. As he wades through knee-high weeds along Highway 66, he is surprised to see a vase of red and white flowers.

"Look at that," he says through a grin. "I didn't think there was anything here."

In Weld County, a symbol of love for a dead daughter.

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He bends down, yanks a weed from the memorial site, kicks a stone, yanks another weed, sets the cracked vase upright, then straightens a bouquet of sun-bleached flowers. While he works, a fat shiny beetle scurries across the sand, and a spider curls its legs inside the dust-covered vase.

"Yeah," Robert says. "It's been a while."

In the days after his brother's death in June 1996, Robert and his family visited the marker several times a week. Someone had moved it from its original spot on the shoulder to a nearby ravine, presumably so it wouldn't interfere with traffic, but that was okay. Robert's family planted a rosebush and spread blue and white gravel around the marker. They tended the ground on weekends and on their way home from work. It was good for them, like therapy.

But last Halloween, someone stole Lenny's cross. They uprooted the marker, even though it was welded to a pipe sunk seven feet into the ground. Robert and his family searched the weeds and called highway officials but couldn't find a trace. "It's sad," Robert says. "I put a lot of work into it. A lot of love. And then for someone to just take it?"

He felt close to Lenny here. Although he has a picture of his brother in his living room and Lenny's ashes in a special toolbox, he'd come to this lonely roadside to talk, smoke a cigarette, think about things.

"This was someplace to go and take care of," Robert says. "To show Lenny that we care about him and that we haven't forgotten."

Now, as he stands over the tattered little bouquet, Robert decides to renew a promise he made when the descanso first disappeared. "It's time to put something back up here," he says.

He already has the design figured out. This time the cross will be larger and made of wood. Again the ground will be decorated with blue and white gravel. They are Robert's favorite colors, blue and white. They reminded him of the sky and the clouds. Something enduring.