Red Alert

All of this, of course, is just vamping for the big-fight finale. And here Shelton contents himself with distancing the film not only from Sylvester Stallone but from more classic moviemaking as well. Rather than the cool black and white of Martin Scorsese's Raging Bull, the boxing action of Play It to the Bone is in full, bloody color. Zeroing in on the details of physical damage with gusto, the film quickly pushes aside the characters' personal and professional concerns. Rather than illuminate anything about Vince or Cesar, the match turns them into mere pieces of meat.

Doubtless there are fight fans who might take a fancy to this. The bout is conceived and executed as a boxing wet dream: evenly matched opponents knocking each other down and picking themselves up time after time as the crowd roars. But anyone who has been paying attention to the plot and characters up to this point won't be so sanguine. For when the smoke clears, it's a wonder not only that either of the heroes has survived, but that the viewer -- by now rendered as dazed and confused as the contestants -- can remember who they are.

Exit stage left: Philip Baker Hall, Susan Sarandon and John Cusack get ready to rock the cradle.

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Maybe Shelton should be advised to try polo next time out.