Best anti-theft device at a record store

For nineteen years, Jerry's Record Exchange has stocked some of the most obscure folk, classical and jazz selections in town. But a few years ago, when acid jazz peaked its way into the club scene, the store became a target for DJs who were too cheap to buy. Instead of loading up on security bells, whistles and armed guards, though, store owner John Loquidis simply placed a handwritten note above the jazz records: "To the acid-jazz dweeb, I assume, who felt it necessary to steal Lester Young, Clifford Brown, Bird, Armstrong, et al. covers to decorate his equipment or club, you are a disgrace to your profession as you defame the American art form whilst denying others these great works. This stuff ain't mindless dance crap, Jim...If you are just another anal asshole bent on destroying my store, to Hades with you. Cut up old down beats, Jerk." Store general manager Steve Bruner says the sign appeals to the conscience of potential swindlers and has slowed their thieving ways. "A real jazz lover would never steal," he adds.