The downfall of Napster is wussifying the Web.

Invariably, Maris's Q&As end with the interviewer attacking, butchering and dismembering the interviewees, usually sucking out their brains and chomping on loose ligaments, with a series of photographs documenting the carnage every step of the way (see photo below). Remarkably, some musicians do make it out alive. Colemesis guitarist Fabian Bonilla, "managed to escape unscathed," much to Maris's dismay. Other past victims haven't been so lucky. Though they can be found busking in local venues, members of Dear Marsha, Scary Valentine and Jepedo's Juice are all -- in Maris's world, at least -- long dead. (Perhaps they're now zombies as well?) A funny site not recommended for those who fear the sight of blood -- or gay zombie jokes.

Maris mutilates a member of Blister66.
Maris mutilates a member of Blister66.

Of course, if Web sites -- legal, disgusting or otherwise -- aren't your bag, or you're of the old school that still feels that music and computers should leave each other well enough alone, there's still the worldwide web of live music for you to get entangled in. Luckily, this week has a couple of standout offerings: Sally Timms and Jon Langford -- two Brits better known for their work with the fascinating collective the Mekons -- will be at the Lion's Lair on Friday, August 4. In the past couple of years, the pair has been taking the Mekons' early forays into neo-country sounds a step further; for Langford, it's been ongoing projects with the Waco Brothers and the Pine Valley Cosmonauts, while Timms has released a couple of lush solo records (including last year's excellent Cowboy Sally's Twilight Laments for Lost Buckaroos, on the Bloodshot label). Should be a fine night of alterna-twang...Also on the country front: On Saturday, August 5, the Mercury Cafe will host the inaugural performance in the "Cowtown Saturday Night" series, a new effort to showcase some of the fine traditional and alternative country acts emerging from the area. Featured artists are the much beloved locals the Dalhart Imperials and recent Westword profile subjects Halden Wofford and the Hi Beams...The excellent local guitar impressionist Neil Satterfield will perform with a small army of area luminaries on Friday, August 4, at Swallow Hill. Satterfield, apparently still celebrating his gorgeous disc Wanderlust (initially released last year), will be joined throughout three sets by Carrie Beeder of Room 40, former Denverite turned San Francisco dweller John Vecchiarelli (whose occasional returns home are truly welcome ones), members of Antelope and Space Team Electra, and Kat Elinger from Worm Trouble. A Wanderful lineup, indeed...Finally, it's time once again for NedFest, the mountain musicfest organized by "Michigan Mike" Torpie. Though the roster of the two-day Nederland event is too exhaustive to list here (see our concert listings or, highlights will include performances from the Tony Furtado Band, the Motet, Stanley Jordan (Saturday night, 7:30 p.m.) and the Yonder Mountain String Band. That's a lot of music, folks. Get the hell off that computer.

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