Off Limits

Are Jake Jabs and Ted Nugent really the same person?

Or Jabs: "Never be undersold!"


The Joy of Socks: Apparently, Qwest CEO Joe "Macho" Nacchio reads financial pages, not fashion sections. Otherwise, how could he have missed the liberating news that pantyhose -- or "foot stockings," as the Qwest dress code so quaintly calls the synthetic sausage casings -- are out, out, out among trendsetters from Los Angeles to New York City to London? Sadly, none of those cities happen to fall in the fourteen states whose phone service -- and employees -- Qwest acquired with the completion of its merger with US West last month.

Ted Nugent (above) and Jake Jabs (below, left) are both chums with Charlton Heston. You may remember Heston from such films as The Fantasy Film Worlds of George Pal and Wayne's World 2.
Ted Nugent (above) and Jake Jabs (below, left) are both chums with Charlton Heston. You may remember Heston from such films as The Fantasy Film Worlds of George Pal and Wayne's World 2.

After Nacchio rolled up his starched white shirtsleeves to make Qwest's cozy commercials promoting the revamped company, one of the first orders of business was to further define its dress code for old and new employees alike. "Policy," states the memo. "Valued customers and suppliers visit our offices frequently. In order to present a professional company image and working atmosphere, Qwest relies on employees to maintain a clean and neat business-like appearance by dressing according to personal taste while at the same time avoiding extremes not appropriate to a business environment. Employees also have a responsibility to keep their work environment neat and clean.

"Procedure: The dress code for Qwest Communications is defined as business casual from Monday through Thursday and casual wear from Friday through Sunday. Remember that business casual does not mean sloppy, ragged or weekend style casual, it is one that demonstrates a clean, professional, yet casual image (primarily without tie and jacket) for men and slacks, blouses, dresses and skirts for women. These guidelines are not all-encompassing and therefore good judgement on your part as to the appropriateness of business office attire is needed. When in doubt, check with your supervisor before wearing.

"To maintain a professional appearance, it is recommended that foot stockings be worn at all times. This may include socks, hosiery, tights, knee-highs, or other foot stockings."

For those who fail to toe the company line, be warned: Like foot stockings, you can run, but you can't hide.

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