Best Hamburger

At the Night Shift Saloon, the hamburger is as God intended when he first conceived of this most amazing creation. In the beginning, there's a huge slab of ground beef, which is charbroiled until it boasts craggy bits of grill-blackened meat and drips with juices; then it's covered with a thick, thick blanket of Velveeta-like cheese that melts to create a permanent bond with a bun that's quintessential burger bread: medium-thick, with a Wonder Bread texture that's ideal for soaking up grease. And that's it. No fancy filet mignon, no imported cheese, no bakery-baked bun, no frou-frou toppings. Just you, the Night Shift's busy dive-bar ambience, and big beef. You're welcome.