Best View of Boulder

Life is different in the People's Republic of Boulder -- oh, excuse us, that's the Independent Republic of Greater Boulderia, according to the mondoboulder Web site, the most excellent work of Old Boulder Bozo Peter Aretin. Full of far-from-gratuitous insults, a few nostalgic pieces, up-to-the-minute commentary and a listing of the first annual Dillies -- awards named in honor of the infamous Boulder Public Library dildos -- mondoboulder's aim is true, and it hits its target dead-on. Take this from the home page: "Events of the last year have raised serious questions in the minds of many Boulderians concerning our security. The Broomfield-County/FlatIron-Crossing Axis of Retail continued to wage unrelenting economic warfare on Boulderia. Security forces and loyal partisans clashed repeatedly with upholstered-furniture terrorists in the troubled University Hill region. Boulderian elementary schools fell under siege from deadly prairie dogs. Pro- and anti-dog-poop factions clashed openly on Boulderian open space, as pro- and anti-goose-poop parties began to loose trial rhetorical salvos in the next big poop-oriented brouhaha. There was the much-wrangled refugee problem, and Boulderia has recently come under mounting pressure to shoot most of the deer to stop chronic wasting disease. The Counter-Intuitive Agency urges citizens to maintain their usual saint-like calm and wishes to reassure Boulderia that we take these things seriously!" For a seriously good time, call up www.mondoboulder.com.