Off Limits

While Denver continues its crumble into dust, Denver Water remains a font of creativity. The sandwich boards with their catchy slogans (and overheated wearers) are still working their way around town, and the next stage of the conservation campaign is about to roll out.

In August, those slogans will move onto coasters used by local watering holes, as well as T-shirts worn by servers. At the fifteen Chipotle outposts, employees' chests will read "Save Water. Order the Mild." At the Rock Bottom Brewery downtown, customers will be reminded that "Real Men Dry Shave." And at the Wynkoop Brewing Co., the word is "No Water. No Beer."

Denver Water is supplying the T-shirts to the restaurants, according to spokeswoman Jane Earle, but some businesses are so inspired that they're ready to buy their own. At Wells Fargo branches on Fridays, tellers will be wearing the dentistry-disapproved "Brush Every Other Tooth," as well as "Instead of a Dishwasher, Get a Dog."

"This campaign has struck a chord with so many people," Earle says.

At Ocean Journey, the "world-class" aquarium where visitor numbers are drying up faster than the Dillon Reservoir, they're playing a whole sad song. "Only Wash the Stinky Parts," employees' shirts will advise.

Please be seated: "The clock is ticking," warns the glossy brochure coming out of the Denver Broncos/SMC Ticket Office at Invesco Field at Mile High. "Over 90% of the Broncos Club Level Seats and Executive Suites have already been sold."

And no matter that the few remaining -- at least according to the enclosed schematics -- are in the very end of the end zone. The mailing vows that "everything about Broncos Club Seats and Executive Suites is designed to make your clients, customers, prospects and employees feel truly valued."

Everything, perhaps, except the lawsuits that result when Club ticket-holders decide the amenities aren't quite what they were promised and decline to ante up for another season "The Hot Seat" April 11. Rather than let them break their contracts, the Denver Broncos have been taking disgruntled fans to court. And last week, the team won its Denver District Court case against five dissatisfied Club-seat holders who'd refused to honor their contracts and pay for another year. Lawsuits against 28 other Club members are still pending.