Looking for a Fix

"You know how many times I've been to jail," she says. "When you start losing pieces of your life from getting high, you wonder why you're doing it. I won't say the craving isn't there; there are still times I wish I could get high. But being monitored by the courts makes a lot of your motivation to use go away."

Meredith believes that, for the most part, drug court is a good thing, especially because of its emphasis on personal responsibility.

Craig La Rotonda

Anthony Camera

Meredith Behm finds herself drawn to her brother's grave at times, searching for something that has eluded her for nearly three decades.

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"Nobody likes admitting they're in trouble and having to face up to it," she says. "I felt like I was an addict, not a criminal. As bitter as I was at first, in the end I think I wasn't treated like a criminal. Their true purpose is to help you get your life straightened out. I'm not saying I've recovered, but this has helped a lot."