By Isa Jones
By Mary Willson
By Brian Turk
By Drew AIles
By Taylor Boylston
By Bree Davies
By Emerald O'Brien
But the touching spectacle of blow-up dinosaurs frolicking together was perhaps less memorable than the unusual means by which "Godzilla" was rendered by the Portland-based Samsonite and Delight-Ya. That song -- and every other cover tune the pair performed during its hospital sweep -- sprang to life not through the wonders of screaming electric guitars, walls of feedback or stomping kick drums, but through the polkafied dual exhaust of twin accordions -- Italian cherry-colored Castiglionis, at that.
"I couldn't tell the nurses from the patients," recalls Samsonite, whose legal name is Botielus (sounds like "bowtieless"). "It was pretty weird. We started out playing to the pretty easygoing people and the young people, then the criminally insane last. Some of the people that were in [Cuckoo's Nest] were actually in the audience. They had to keep all of the wards separate."
"They were great audiences," adds Delight-Ya, a husky-voiced looker also known as Cybele. "They loved it. We got a lot of feedback -- a few handwritten thank-you notes and stuff. And the chief medical officer told us that outbursts went way down, even before we played. They put up a bunch of posters beforehand, and it was kind of a reward for being less violent or making outbursts or anything. We even autographed a few anti-violence posters."
In addition to deploying non-destructive, rubberized, dance-happy lizards, Samsonite and Delight-Ya found other ways to customize their set for the institutionalized.
"We cut out some of the dirty words," Delight-Ya recalls. "We had to clean up everything -- take out any references to drinking, which there's a lot of because of the beer celebrations with polkas and stuff. With 'Relax,' by Frankie [Goes to Hollywood], instead of saying 'When you want to come,' we said, 'When you want some fun.' We had to sanitize it, leave out 'Born to Be Wild,' things like that.
"It was definitely one of our most fulfilling, gratifying concerts," she says. "We did five shows there in one week, and everyone really seemed to enjoy it so much."
What's not to enjoy? If Lawrence Welk broke up predictable renditions of "Liechtenstein Polka" and "Baby Elephant Walk" with "Fat Bottomed Girls" or "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" on a regular basis, everyone might be a little less crazy. Samsonite and Delight-Ya -- who dub themselves "the cheesiest accordion duo in the world" and have orange, tri-cornered hats to cement their stake to the claim -- are, in their own way, making the world a better place.
"We mostly polkatize rock songs and TV themes and jingles and stuff like that," Delight-Ya says. "We irk traditionalists because we tweak everything and we don't have any reverence or respect for the original songs. We pretty much try to give any song a polka beat and get in some yodeling and some 'yaaahs' and change some words to German and stuff. We don't go as far with the lyrics-changing as Weird Al does. We're more half-assed. We're each half an ass, and together we're a whole ass."
Such unholy unions aren't squeezed out of thin air -- or even aerosol cans. The pair met in Houston in 1985 when Delight-Ya was dating the Reverend Horton Heat (who went by the name of Jim Wallace in those days, fronting a band called Six Gun). Seventeen years later, they've been joined in the eyes of the King, if not the authorities.
"We've had two ceremonies," Samsonite says, "but we've never done anything official. We were married on a rock-and-roll stage by a rock-and-roll minister."
"At the Church of Elvis," Delight-Ya adds. "For a Fox after-breakfast TV show. We don't have the government involved in our relationship."
Both polka manglers come from über-traveling families. Born an Army brat in Virginia, Samsonite lived in Italy and in Taiwan as an adolescent before getting himself stationed for two years in Würzburg, Germany, as a saxophonist for a fifteen-piece Army band; he performed traditional Bavarian polka tunes in beer halls and John Philip Sousa marches for highbrow Washington functions, including Ronald Reagan's inauguration.
"We'd get up at five or six in the morning and play Army music or the theme from Rocky, and these tanks would drive by, showing off their speed or whatever," Samsonite recalls. "And there were boxing matches that we'd play for. Glenn Miller and 'The Chicken Dance' were really big."
Delight-Ya, meanwhile, followed her family as it bounced from home town San Francisco to the Philippines and ultimately to Texas, where the clan settled in the mid-'80s. More drawn to pine trees than tumbleweeds, Delight-Ya soon moved to Oregon to fulfill her unique destiny.
"We came from opposite ends of the country to meet in the middle," Delight-Ya says.