Pop Quiz

January 16, 2003

In keeping with Pop Quiz's noble mission to remind citizens of useless facts they might otherwise forget, this week's incarnation -- the Pop(ular Vote) Quiz -- was culled from still-Mayor Wellington Webb's briefing last week for the current crop of mayoral hopefuls. Nine wannabes, each eager to learn the secrets of becoming "mayor of the greatest city in America" (Webb's words), listened to three hours of presentations and then went home with a handy binder full of information. Before they escaped, though, the Quizmeister tested the candidates to see if their powers of retention could last five minutes -- let alone a four-year term.

The Denver Mayoral Dozen (as of January 10, 2003):

• Ari Zavaras, former Denver manager of public safety

Professor W. Webb
Professor W. Webb
Denver's prime fixer-upper
Denver's prime fixer-upper
Don Mares
Don Mares
Don Mares
Don Mares
Don Mares
Don Mares
Not our Gary Cooper
Not our Gary Cooper
Susan Casey
Susan Casey
John Hickenlooper
John Hickenlooper
Elizabeth Schlosser
Elizabeth Schlosser
Penfield Tate
Penfield Tate
Koleen Brooks on her Web site
Koleen Brooks on her Web site
Ari Zavaras
Ari Zavaras

• Don Mares, current city auditor

• Susan Casey, former Denver City Council member

• Elizabeth Schlosser, historic preservationist

• John Hickenlooper, businessman and owner of the Wynkoop Brewing Co.

• Phil Perington, developer and former Democratic Party chairman

• Penfield Tate, current state senator

• Jeremy Stefanek, former software executive

• Gary Cooper, retired businessman and one-time write-in candidate for Senate

• Dwight Henson, no information

• Thomas Spear, ditto

• Darla S. Herold, ditto

1. Match the candidate -- Don Mares, Susan Casey, Gary Cooper or Ari Zavaras -- with his or her answer to this nugget: What share of passengers begin or end their travel at DIA? (Hint: The correct answer is 55 percent; the rest of the passengers are making connections -- as were many of the mayoral candidates at last Friday's gathering.)

A. "35 percent?"

B. "I don't know offhand."

C. "45 to 55 percent?"

D. "According to city documents...around 54 percent."

2. When asked how much beer could be made from the water in Denver's reservoirs this spring, John Hickenlooper replied:

A. "Enough to fuel my presidential ambitions."

B. "It depends.... Remember, beer is nearly a perfect recyclable resource."

C. "Approximately 5.2 million barrels, give or take a six-pack."

D. "What kind of idiot question is that?"

3. Elizabeth Schlosser pledged that she wants to be the mayoral candidate for:

A. "The home team."

B. "People who hate politicians and never vote."

C. "The 21st century."

D. "The little guy. The big guy. And the in-between guy. Gals, too."

4. At the briefing, Mayor Webb advised:

A. "Each of you is going to have to address the issue: There will not be enough revenue to cover personnel costs."

B. "I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. And mine are plenty big enough."

C. "Want me to let you in on a secret? Open more farmers' markets!"

D. "To quote Missy Elliott: 'The way to succeed? Work it!'"

5. Penfield Tate, when asked how much the city paid for the new justice-center site, replied:

A. "That's just the tip of the iceberg. Look at how much the Rockies paid what's-his-name."

B. "More than it was worth."

C. "Whatever they paid, it was a bargain. A jail is an investment in people."

D. "Gosh, I want to say $16 million."

6. How did professor Webb address his pupils at the end of the presentation?

A. "Thhhhhat's all, folks!"

B. "It ain't pretty, but it's our city."

C. "Wake up."

D. "See, you think this is some soft gig. Well, think again."

7. Bonus question about Colorado's most famous mayor, Koleen Brooks. What startling fact emerged during the ex-Georgetown leader's trial last week?

A. Her favorite show as a child was Perry Mason.

B. The Broncos emblem is tattooed on her left bicep.

C. She has had four breast implants.

D. Brooks studied classical ballet and once danced the role of the Sugar Plum Fairy.

Answers:

1. Mares: 35 percent; Casey: 45 to 55 percent; Cooper: "I don't know offhand"; Zavaras: 54 percent (through a staffer using a crib sheet).

2. B. Hickenlooper knows all too well how beer can be cycled back.

3. B. Schlosser is reaching for those who are turned off.

4. A. Mayor Bossy told 'em what they have to do.

5. D. Tate knew the correct answer: $16 mil.

6. C. Wake up, Webb joked. Most heads nodded.

7. C. Implants. Who'da thunk it?

 
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