Pop Quiz

January 23, 2003

So, there was the Quizmeister, admitting that he'd just taken the kids' Colorado quiz on Tom Tancredo's Congressional Web site -- and scored a solid 80 percent. (Hey, who knew the state flag had red in it? We thought no Reds were allowed here.) But the third-term congressman from Colorado's 6th Congressional District was more than willing to put his own beliefs to the test. This quiz is the highly edited offshoot of a conversation that took place last week at Benny's Cantina, a (very legal) Mexican restaurant.

1. Tom Tancredo's favorite meal is:

A. Beef burritos smothered in green sauce.

Tancredo and "Red" Clifford.
Tancredo and "Red" Clifford.

B. Breakfast served anytime at the Sonic Drive-In -- especially the Texas Toast item.

C. American meatloaf.

D. Borscht, cooked by his wife (a former Russian teacher).

2. As a teen growing up on Denver's northwest side, he once:

A. Played baseball with a semi-pro team and was considered a big-league prospect.

B. Was known as "Melonhead," because he hauled watermelons from the Denargo Market.

C. Was arrested for setting off firecrackers near the home of Mayor Bill McNichols.

D. Ratted out his non-Catholic florist employer to nuns, who were fooled by statues of the Madonna in the shop's window.

3. Regarding illegal immigrants, Congressman Tancredo admits:

A. "I have used my share of them to do odd jobs."

B. "I really don't know any personally."

C. "For the most part, the picture in my mind of someone here illegally is the picture the press wants to accentuate: hard-working, kids in school."

D. "Our economy would falter without them. But still...."

4. Tancredo agrees that he's afraid of being branded:

A. A "One-Note Johnny" on immigration.

B. A "closet liberal."

C. A "softie" who let his emotions overcome his logic to support Oscar Hernandez, the five-year-old Mexican national in need of a bone-marrow transplant.

D. A Washington insider.

5. When President George W. Bush spotted Tancredo at a ball last year, he whispered to a Marine:

A. "Quick, hide the servants!"

B. "My man. My mainest of men!"

C. "Buenas noches, Señor Tancredo."

D: "Oh, I know this guy."

6. During a mock election in 1960 at Holy Family High School, Tancredo:

A. Gave a speech in which he took off his loafer and pounded a lectern to make a point.

B. Was one of only two students who cast their votes for Richard Nixon.

C. Started brawling with several other students who supported John Kennedy.

D. Declared that not even the pope could make him vote Democrat.

7. Tancredo bonus: What word or phrase did Congressman Tancredo not use to describe current U.S. immigration policy:

A. "Immigration anarchy."

B. "Bizarre."

C. "Goofball."

D. "Bent but not totally broken."

Answers:

1. B. Tancredo loves Sonic. Loves it.

2. D. While working as a delivery boy for Harvey's Flowers, the teenage Tancredo told the nuns they were buying lilies from a florist who wasn't Catholic.

3. C. Tancredo believes most illegals are hard-working -- but federal immigration policy still needs to be overhauled, he says.

4. A. The "One-Note" description bothers him, although he says: "If I move the debate to my side of the playing field, then I will have accomplished something. And I know congressmen who have been in office for twenty years who can't say that."

5. D. Bush knows Tancredo, all right. And Tancredo's criticisms have earned him a dressing-down from top Bush aides.

6. B. While more than seventy of his classmates voted for Kennedy, young Tom backed Tricky Dick.

7. D. Tancredo considers the current system unworkable and says that if an open-border policy is adopted -- legally -- after a policy debate, that's fine with him.

 
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