By Jonathan Shikes
By Alex Brown
By Cafe Society
By Samantha Alviani
By Lori Midson
By Mark Antonation
By Loren Lorenzo
By Nate Hemmert
Comfort food is dead.
I keep hoping that if I say that enough, it will actually come true.
Comfort food should be pronounced dead, because it's gone as far as it can go in the white-tablecloth-and-heavy-silver restaurant cosmos. It's a horse that has been ridden hard, whipped to within an inch of its life, and now cries out for a bullet to just end it all.
3472 W. 32nd Ave.
Denver, CO 80211
Region: Northwest Denver
Braised short ribs: $14
Roasted chicken: $13
Pepper shrimp: $14
And yet it persists. Like reality TV and Madonna's career, no matter how often some smarty-pants critic pronounces it DOA, comfort food keeps coming back. Restaurant owners love the stuff, because it's great for their bottom line -- imagine for a minute how much it really cost the kitchen to produce those mashed potatoes or that mac and cheese you just paid fourteen dollars for -- and certain chefs are enamored of comfort food because it allows them to bulk up their menus with playful (if snivelingly sappy) plates where they can showcase their culinary soft side within a socially acceptable framework. There are restaurants that have milk and cookies on their dessert menus: high-end joints where the guys in the back are pouring the moo juice and cracking open boxes of Oreos with a totally straight face, then laughing like jackals every time some poor sap plunks down ten bucks for whatever dubious therapeutic value there is in feeding his inner child. It's only a matter of time before they start handing out Legos and Play-Doh with the wine lists -- and I swear to God that if this doesn't stop, I'm gonna find myself a few like-minded investors and open a joint where the minute a customer walks through the door, he'll be seized by two muscular German wet nurses, stripped naked, put in a diaper and hand-fed strained baby carrots and applesauce while nursery rhymes are pumped in through the Muzak. I'll call the place The Womb, and I'll betcha anything that inside of a year I'll be a fucking millionaire.
Are there places where comfort food is still acceptable? Absolutely. In their pure form (which is to say not jumped-up with artisan, cave-aged cheeses and hundred-year-old balsamic vinegar), mashed potatoes, meatloaf and chicken croquettes will always be the baseline cuisine by which good diners and awful all-you-can-eat buffets are judged. Small-town cafes will always function as our cultural storehouses of home-cooking know-how, places where the devotees of slow food and traditional technique can gather for pot roast and apple pie done right. But in any hot spot more hifalutin than, say, Breakfast King, comfort food is a scourge -- a cancer growing dangerously close to the heart of the American restaurant scene.
Seven years ago, America's obsession with comfort food was just peaking. We'd only recently come out of a long, dark period of incredibly fussy, pretentious fare -- an era in which every plate brought forth from a four-star kitchen had to look like sushi (whether it was seafood or not) or some weirdly complex piece of abstract art. Taste mattered less than style, form more than function. The edible architecture of Alfred Portale was a couple of years off, the resurgence of classical French and regional Italian rustica even farther in the future. And in the meantime, comfort food filled the void.
As did Bang! when it opened in a tiny space in just-getting-hot Highland and started serving meatloaf and mashed potatoes to a hungry neighborhood. And even today, in a larger location and seven years after the comfort-food climax, Bang! is still reminiscent of the restaurant world as it existed in the year 5 B.F. (Before Frisee).
On my culinary timeline, modern American dining is delineated by several seminal events. It begins with Julia Child and Madeline Kamman. It moves through the invention of the microwave, the robo-coupe and the offset bread knife, continues on with the opening of Chez Panisse, the logical beauty of Alice Waters's seasonal cooking and the subsequent horrors of California cuisine and the vegetarian-food movement; it takes a pause for sushi, Spago, Emeril and the birth of the Food Network. Comfort food started exerting its touchy-feely influence on kitchens that really should have known better in the mid-'90s (it was on the cover of every important magazine by late '97 and early '98), a trend bracketed by Wolfgang Puck's rise to celebrity status and Portale's plate design. And then, Alain Ducasse arrived in New York City. Everything after that is labeled A.D. (After Ducasse), just as those golden years before every corporate-owned faux street-corner bistro started slathering every goddamn thing that came out of the kitchen with a gallon of cheap-import truffle oil and adding frisee to every plate are called B.F.
Sitting down to eat at Bang! is like taking a time-machine trip back to that B.F. era. The restaurant is cute, but not sickeningly so, with its blue-green color scheme and pastel plates, high tables and giraffe-leg chairs that make everyone feel like a kid sitting at the grownups' table, and ever-changing art collection. The floor staff is laid-back and competent, and a server is never more than a few feet away because of the rather cramped quarters. Wine isn't served in fabulously expensive crystal stemware, but in plain water glasses like I use at home. And while the no-reservation policy, back-alley entrance and frequent (sometimes lengthy) waits for the two dozen highly sought-after tables can make the place feel exclusive, once you do get a seat (provided it's in the main room, as opposed to the quieter side room or the heated, tented patio), you can look right through the service door and see the dish machine chugging away, and sometimes the cooks at work in the kitchen hallway -- a design element that I'm sure must give all the highly paid restaurant decorators in town a collective heart attack.