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Sex and this city

Rant of the week, part deux: We're always up for a good fight, and there's a doozie of a Colorado-Florida fashion feud brewing. Last week we printed the wit and wisdom of GMan, a visitor from the Sunshine state who thought it would "not be disappointing to anyone" if Colorado women bought some new frocks and our men shed their ball caps. His comments raised quite a bit of ire among Mile Highers who didn't want no transplant -- from Florida, of all places -- talkin' smack about our city.

But it was another Floridian turned Coloradan, Arturo Gómez, who rose up to defend his new homeland most eloquently:

I am a rare breed, a Cuban-American from Miami who has moved to Denver. From sea level to a mile high. I have been here for six weeks, and I feel great about being here, as Denver and the Rockies have a fabulous live music scene apparently all year-round. I love the numerous parks, tree-lined streets, unique neighborhoods and bikeways all around the Mile High City. I also find the people to be friendlier.

Separated at birth: These three Johns TV stars 
bear striking resemblances to notorious personalities.
Separated at birth: These three Johns TV stars bear striking resemblances to notorious personalities.

Permit me to point out a few things: The recent mayoral race was tame compared to Florida's notorious political system, which follows the beat of a different drum; I find LoDo to be far less "plastic" than South Beach and with more to offer -- of course, not counting the ocean; even with the T-Rex project, traffic is a breeze in comparison to the bottlenecks of Greater Miami, and with much less road rage. The Marlins would be ecstatic with the average attendance of the Rockies, and it is way cool to have all the major sports facilities within earshot of each other in the downtown area. Finally, it feels wonderful not to have any planned protests or radio personalities spewing hatred about the upcoming concerts of Cuban national artists coming to town over the summer.

Sometimes it takes an outsider to appreciate the attributes of one's "home town."

A ringing endorsement, indeed, even if Gómez artfully avoids discussing Denver's sense of style. But many readers apparently agree with GMan that Denver has none.

"In fact," wrote one, "I'd say that he was even being polite. I guess Westword isn't as perceptive as I thought it was. Have you been sleeping under a rock? Most people who are not Colorado natives and who have not yet been assimilated by the Colorado Lack of Fashion Borg would tell you that the overall dress code in Denver/Colorado is generally a 'somewhat-clean homeless look.' Just go to any theater, any mall or any other place and people-watch. How could you miss it? The few pictures you showed are fairly representative of what you normally see throughout Denver/Colorado. What's amazing is that even at many of the best restaurants, it is very easy to feel overdressed because of the pervasiveness of that mountainish I-have-no-clue-how-to-dress-myself look."

Is GMan right? Or should people from a place known for golf pants and pre-fab cities like Celebration keep their yaps shut? Fashion an answer and send it over to makeover@westword.com.

No sex and this city: Finally, we have to give a shout-out to our colleague, Patrick Osborn. After last week's heart-wrenching tale of speed dating ("Date-a-Thon," May 29), exactly one reader offered to help him avert a potential -- and we quote -- "epic sex drought." We thought the patheticness of his situation might have inspired a little more love (although one couple did contact him about their buy-a-Thai-bride business), but Denver ladies must be saving themselves for the next round of reality-TV tryouts.

Still, one is all it takes -- and Christy thinks she's got the goods. While sexual favors weren't promised, the self-described tall, blond, 31-year-old former Cosmo cover girl did let Osborn know that she's "a better option than speed dating and Harry Potter" -- and that she'd be wearing red pants to their rendezvous. Considering the number of tall, blond, 31-year-old former Cosmo cover girls traipsing around Denver (our fashion feuders musta missed her), we say go for it, Patrick. We're just hoping those red pants are leather, not sweat.

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