Think Distinct

This summer's movies could withstand the drought.

Le Divorce. Now that Kate Hudson and Naomi Watts are brand names, James Ivory carts them to Paris to play around at being young zany women having weird romantic issues. (Fox Searchlight)

Matchstick Men. Not exactly known for his comedies, Ridley Scott dares to deliver Nicholas Cage as a con artist whose teenage daughter (Alison Lohman) shows up at the wrong time. Song by Status Quo (and/or Camper Van Beethoven) not confirmed at presstime. (Warner Bros.)

Marci X. Lisa Kudrow's a white Jewish girl put in charge of her father's gangsta-rap record label! Will hanging out with black people teach her how to loosen up? Our money's on "yes." Damon Wayans co-stars as rapper "Dr. Snatchcatcher," and Christine Baranski appears as the token evil Republican. (Paramount)

Think big: HULK is coming to town.
Think big: HULK is coming to town.
Hot stuff: Justin meets Kelly in From Justin to 
Hot stuff: Justin meets Kelly in From Justin to Kelly.

Shaolin Soccer. If the Bears were bad news and the Ducks sucked, perhaps there's an antidote in these wacky footballers from China. Their martial-arts training allows them to do supernatural moves, but they face equally formidable opponents. Stephen Chow acts, writes, directs and cashes the checks. (Miramax)

The Battle of Shaker Heights. The second film to come out of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon's HBO-funded Project Greenlight, this one features a pair of directors who have actually made a film before, and a screenplay that won a separate contest. The plot involves a teenager who's obsessed with World War II, to the point of re-creating some of its battles. Well, what teen isn't? (Miramax)

Freddy vs. Jason. The walking corpse of a drowned redneck with Down's syndrome heads to Elm Street to take on a Kentucky Fried child-murderer who only exists in dreams. Fans of '80s slashers have awaited this showdown for over a decade; given that most of the Freddy movies are pretty good and the Jason ones shoddy, there's a 50-50 chance of suckitude, especially since the producers totally dissed Kane Hodder by recasting Jason (with another stunt guy, no less). However, Hong Kong director Ronny Yu does have a track record of stylishly resurrecting '80s horror icons -- Bride of Chucky rocked. (New Line)

The Medallion. Jackie Chan plays a Hong Kong detective with a medallion that gives him super powers. Julian Sands plays a character called "Snakehead," so what more do you need to know? (Screen Gems)

Once Upon a Time in the Midlands. Cinema critic Gregory Weinkauf's official favorite actress Shirley Henderson shows up to play a struggling mom living with Rhys Ifans (sounds like a disease documentary). When her old boyfriend Robert Carlyle shows up to play, things get pretty saucy! (Sony Pictures Classics)

Thirteen. Evan Rachel Wood stars in this shocking tale of juvenile delinquency in Los Angeles. Shocking, that is, if it never occurred to you that teenagers do drugs, have sex and use profanity. Co-screenwriter Nikki Reed is only fourteen, which puts her mental age a good two years higher than that of the average studio scribe. (Fox Searchlight)

Civil Brand. Perhaps, if we're lucky, this film could spark a revival of the "bimbos in cages" genre popularized by Jonathan Demme back when he worked for Roger Corman. It's set in a women's prison, where conditions are hard, the protagonist is unjustly accused and the inmates rise up. Mos Def plays a sympathetic law student. (Lion's Gate)

Grind. Skateboarding's the cool thing right now, so they say, and to cash in on this hot new trend that all the kids are into, here comes a movie about it. Four young would-be Tony Hawks follow the summer tour of their favorite skateboard star, hoping to learn some new tricks and get noticed by the pros. The cast and crew are all pretty much unknown, so the skating action and cinematography had better be good. (WB)

My Boss's Daughter. You know you've been waiting for Ashton Kutcher and Tara Reid to finally do a movie together. She plays the daughter of his unpleasant boss; he winds up housesitting for said employer and uses the opportunity to hit on the young lady. Meanwhile, Andy Richter, Terence Stamp, Michael Madsen and Carmen Electra show up. Points for creative ensemble casting, anyway. (Miramax)

Highwaymen. Jim Caviezel and Rhona Mitra are pursued by a serial killer... who likes to run people over with his car! Undoubtedly inspired by the sole occasion on which a studio executive had to drive himself on the L.A. freeways. (New Line)

Jeepers Creepers 2. Ya know, at least Roman Polanski doesn't make movies about raping little girls (not anymore, anyway). If writer-director Victor Salva really wanted to put his pedophiliac past behind him, he'd stop making films about a pants-sniffing ancient demon that pursues a high school boys' basketball team. The creature's costume, incidentally, is the worst rubber suit to come along since Joel Schumacher said, "Batman's armor isn't gay enough." The concept and the goofy title may have suckered you into the first film, but there's no excuse this time. (MGM)

Dates Undetermined

Angela. A Mafia movie that's actually from Italy, this one might break down a few stereotypes. Or not. It's apparently based on the true-life story of a trophy wife who becomes involved with both the family business and one of her husband's underlings. (First Look)

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