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Pop Quiz

July 10, 2003
Disasters in the Pastures

1. According to one expert, cat mutilations sweeping the area may be caused by:

A. Roving skinheads.

B. Roving pinheads.

C. Roving corvids.

D. Raving rockers.

2. Andon Guenther, a Denverite kicked off theParadise Hotel reality show, snickered that which of these was forbidden for contestants?

A. Necking.

B. Gawking.

C. Hawking.

D. Reading.

3. The mayor's inaugural committee (or Hick's Picks to Fix) plans to begin its celebrations with which of these tradition-busting ideas?

A. A Vespa rally around the Capitol.

B. Three picnics at parks yet to be determined.

C. Rounds of mini-golf at several local facilities.

D. A beer-sampling rally around various watering holes.

4. Which one of these pesky telemarketers was not among the top-ten violators of Colorado's no-call law?

A. Consumer-loan hustlers.

B. Cell-phone hucksters.

C. Home-improvement sales hounds.

D. Sucker charities.

5. Did someone say "sucker"? Mike Dailey, the new Crush football coach, said this when he was honored as the head of King Elway's indoor empire:

A. "We can't beat those guys. We just have to score more than they do."

B. "I bleed arena football."

C. "I hope some of John's magic rubs off this year. I'm not sure what rubbed off last year."

D. "This land is your land, but this football team is mine now."

6. Cultural bonus: When buying tickets over the phone for Red Rocks events, customers pay a $4-per-ticket what?

A. Telemarketing fee.

B. Bribe.

C. Convenience fee.

D. Baksheesh.

ANSWERS

1. C. Corvids -- or, more colloquially, crows -- may be doing their natural thing. Watch the birdie, kitty.

2. D. Reading. What a passion-buster.

3. B. Picnics are the way to kick off the new era. Maybe Don Mares will supply the ants.

4. D. So-called charity solicitations were not part of the top ten ear-benders.

5. B. Dailey bleeds arena ball. We'll see if he bleeds to death next year.

6. C. The con's a "convenience" fee.

 
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