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Slurry With the Singe on Top
July 24, 2003

1. Hot times are here again. Down in Mesa Verde, where wildfires burned, each twenty-member crew was equipped with what?

A. Anti-fire fetishes created by local Utes.

B. An archeologist.

C. New Kevlar-coated mittens.

D. All the Gatorade they could consume.

2. What happened to the Anasazi who lived in Mesa Verde around 1300 A.D.?

A. They created anti-fire fetishes from shards of pyrite.

B. They were invaded by packs of nomadic hunters, who torched their houses.

C. They disappeared.

D. They perfected the first lightning rods.

3. Be on the lookout for a cookout. Last year's Hayman Fire was classified as an "extreme" fire. Which is not an attribute of an inferno of this type?

A. A mushroom cloud of smoke above the blaze.

B. The ability to create its own weather.

C. The generation of wind.

D. The ability to gobble huge asphalt parking lots.

4. What is the most common cause of such wildfires?

A. Squirrels smoking in bed.

B. Lightning strikes.

C. Careless cigarette smokers.

D. Arson.

5. Speaking of firebugs, what penalty does a person convicted of felony arson face?

A. Up to five years in prison, a fine of $5,000 and firefighting costs.

B. Mandatory admission to a halfway house for up to five years.

C. Psychiatric care, including possible aversion/shock treatment involving matches.

D. A signed agreement that the culprit will never live in a house with a fireplace.

6. Cultural Bonus: Which song was performed by the Talking Heads during a concert at Red Rocks?

A. "Lightnin' Strikes."

B. "Light My Fire."

C. "Burning Down the House."

D. "Hot, Hot, Hot."

ANSWERS:

1. B. The Indiana Jones types were supposed to help route fire lines away from artifacts.

2. C. The cliff-dwellers, who'd lived in the area since around 550, mysteriously vanished.

3. D. Such extremes can meet their match in a parking lot: Yellowstone's 1988 fire was stopped by the lot at the Old Faithful lodge.

4. B. Lightning is the main cause.

5. A. Five years in the pen is a possibility.

6. C. "House." As if you didn't know.

 
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