Pop Quiz

Bummer Summer
August 21, 2003

1. A newly elected member of Denver City Council asked that a certain meeting not be broadcast on the city's public-access channel for what reason?

A. Fear of profanity breaking out.

B. Fear that citizens would see councilmembers eating free cinnamon rolls.

C. Fear that word would leak of secret discussions on how to make the Borofsky sculpture more appealing.

D. The finance committee chairwoman wanted to save electricity.

2. A sure sign that the Rockies' playoff surge had short-circuited was the fact that:

A. The head of Dinger's costume was damaged in the laundry.

B. Manager Clint Hurdle choked on sunflower seeds, and only an alert move by Todd Helton saved him.

C. Power went off at Montreal's old Olympic Stadium, delaying the inevitable loss.

D. A shipment of Louisville Slugger baseball bats arrived with the word "Rockies" misspelled "Rookies."

3. In response to a court ruling that put on hold the new state law requiring public-school students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, Colorado Senate President John Andrews said what?

A. "This ruling insults the patriotism of most Coloradans."

B. "It is a judge attempting to make the law with sociology instead of applying the law and the Constitution. "

C. "I'm confident it will be overturned on appeal."

D. All of the above.

4. The city is threatening to get tough with ordinance 57-43, which requires what?

A. That residents don't keep more than two exotic birds at a time.

B. That residents keep their lawns under six inches in height.

C. That residents keep their downspouts "in good and working order."

D. That residents empty out all unused backyard fountains.

5. According to an Appeals Court decision, it's legal for police to post a sign that says:

A. "Narcotics canine ahead."

B. "Who's naughty and who's nice?"

C. "Don't even think about it."

D. "Who's zoomin' who?"

6. Cultural bonus: Which highly regarded Broadway production is coming to Denver next month?

A. Tonya's Tale as Trailer Trash.

B. Bazooka Joe and the Bubblegum Army.

C. Urinetown.

D. W, Jeb and the Connecticut Deb.

ANSWERS:

1. B. In this cash-starved city, cinnamon rolls were on the meeting's agenda.

2. C. In a fitting premonition of both the Northeast outage and the team's power failure, the stadium went dark for only the second time in its grim history.

3. D. All of the above. Although he's surely tempted, Andrews has never said "Nyah-nyah" publicly.

4. B. Grass must be mowed, and those found in violation could face fines of up to $999. Gentlemen, start your Toros.

5. A. "Narcotics canine" was legal, the court ruled in upholding the conviction of a pot-pipe-flingin' driver, because there was no actual dog on duty.

6. C. Urinetown, the story of love during a drought, will be trickling into town.

 
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