Pop Quiz

Labor Day's Haze
August 28, 2003

 1. According to preliminary July unemployment figures, which county was the leader of Colorado's unemployment pack:

A. Kit Carson.

B. Huerfano.

C. La Plata.

D. Douglas.

2. Is nowhere safe from West Nile? While the Denver Zoo recently reported several animal fatalities, the virus also hit the zoo last year. What happened?

A. A flamingo got sick but is now in the pink.

B. A polar bear got the chills but things are cool again.

C. A red-tailed hawk was feeling down but is flying high today.

D. A mountain goat was looking sheepish but is once more king of the hill.

3. Despite the traditional Labor Day traffic crackdown, some drivers will be speeding in excess of 200 mph this weekend. Why?

A. They are Boulderites who are hurrying down U.S. 36 so they can witness the University of Colorado band's halftime antics.

B. They are CU students heading down to "study" at the cheap keg store in north Denver.

C. They are drivers in the Denver Grand Prix.

D. They are tourists from Iowa heading to Eagle County for a glimpse of Kobe.

4. According to Representative Andrew Romanoff, while surrounding states created thousands of jobs during the past couple of years, Colorado:

A. Did the same. Big props, y'all.

B. Failed to keep accurate records.

C. Suffered a net loss in the thousands.

D. Broke even -- which isn't bad, considering the Nuggets play here.

5. Michael Hampton returned to Coors Field, where the former $123.8 million Rockie helped amass a 21-28 record. Said Hampton of his return:

A. "If fans stopped booing, it would mean they didn't care."

B. "They can kiss my ---. So what if I pitched like horse-bleep?"

C. "Don't take it personally. I mean, I did hit some home runs."

D. "I'm a bit surprised, frankly. This is a business these days; I just moved my operation."

6. Cultural bonus: New Channel 31 reporter Jon Bowman once had a role in a big-screen production. What was it?

A. TV reporter in Ironsides: All You Can Swallow.

B. An on-court extra in Like Mike.

C. A wrangler in Dances With Wolves.

D. A referee in Rodney Dangerfield's Ladybugs.

ANSWERS:

1. B. Huerfano, with a hefty 7.5 percent rate, was deepest in doldrumville.

2. A. The flamingo took ill but recovered.

3. B. Drivers from the Prix. Watch out for turn nine -- it's a dilly.

4. C. Thousands of jobs flew out the door, which is why Dem Romanoff and others helped establish a job-creation roundtable.

5. A. "If fans stopped . . .." Okay, Mike. But for those dollars, you could afford to send a limo to each person's house with an apology for your performance here.

6. D. Bowman was a referee in the locally lensed Ladybugs.

 
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