Reality Bites

Particularly to families from North Carolina, a hillbilly haven that may have great barbecue and an annual "Mayberry Days" festival -- but doesn't have the wonders of Red Rocks or Larimer Square or Ouray or Glenwood Springs, all locations for the shoot. "We just tried to get a variety of activities and places in Colorado that showcase the state," says McNulty.

With all of Colorado's natural beauty, it's tough to make this state look bad. And yet, this deal does. This past spring, Owens folded the last remaining member of the Colorado Film Commission into the Colorado Tourism Office, which is part of his economic development agency. Talented local filmmakers still smarting over the commission's disappearance would scale every fourteener in the state for the chance to make a one-hour TV show showcasing Colorado. "There are plenty of people who can do it here," says local filmmaker Peter Garrity. "I used to see this all the time back when I was doing ski stuff, and they'd go to make a commercial, and in would come the out-of-state producer. And he'd have to ask us how to do it."

Of course, the state's only signed on for one episode of Courage Colorado, and that $9 million was a one-time allocation. But just imagine what the state could do with the $25 million in cash that tourism boosters envision collecting each year if Amendment 33 passes. NBC could add Law and Order: Special Victimizers Unit to its lineup, featuring different executives from subsidiaries of Wembley, the British concern pushing Amendment 33, as they're indicted by a Rhode Island grand jury. ABC could offer endless renewals of The Bachelor, starring a newly single governor wooing every company even considering relocating. Then there's the next generation of For Love or Money -- produced not by the filmmakers who stay in this state because they love it, but by a Florida company making a "brandcast" out of Colorado for cash. All courtesy our bumpkin boosters.

Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Bill and all his kin
An' they would like to thank you folks for kindly droppin' in.
You're all invited back again to this locality,
To have a heapin' helpin' of our hospitality.

Colorado, that is! Set a spell. Take your ski boots off!

Y'all come back now, here!