C. Their average wingspan is wider than that of Nuggets guard Earl Boykins.
D. Most hens weigh more than a large bowling ball.
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Sam Turner
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49. The comedic Puppetry of the Penis gained exposure here this fall. What was special about the Denver production?
A. Two male performers re-created the DNA double helix on stage using only their...never mind.
B. The first "Yank" player took the stage.
C. To get around liquor-license regulations, patrons carried small "urine" samples of liquor.
D. The cast of The Vagina Monologues protested outside.
50. Sooper bonus: Teemu Selanne and Paul Kariya joined the Avs because:
A. Along with Peter Forsberg, they are part of the Scandinavian mafia.
B. The finicky Finns wanted to play on the same team. Who's asking, ja?
C. Pucks travel faster at altitude.
D. As boys, they both read about Denver in a Finnish travel brochure.
Year-end Answers:
1. B. Baghdad, because of the "machine-gun-like" fireworks.
2. D. No Beulah Bunde in the Spradley family tree that we can see.
3. B. Dean labeled the Office of Consumer Counsel "a rogue agency" and tried to slash its budget after the group red-flagged a potential legislative loophole that would benefit Qwest.
4. B. Hick knows about how suds are recycled.
5. C. Brooks has implants. Hard, very hard, to believe.
6. A. The mayor failed to point out that his administration's accumulated comp time was already covered.
7. C. Clout has its privileges.
8. C. Festival of Mountain and Plain unspooled in 1897. The film commission came unglued this past year.
9. D. Joe no longer got by with the help of his friends.
10. C. Owens was steamed that he'd have to listen to actor/activist Rob Reiner, whose character on the '70s sitcom All in the Family was nicknamed "Meathead."
11. C. She was no Coyote.
12. B. He was reaching for Doritos, when insiders know that Allard's a Fritos man.
13. D. A time clock, like Joe Lunchbox uses. It didn't help. Next year: A time machine back to 1995.
14. C. The conservative Coors said he wanted to "prevent the '60s from coming to Colorado." He should have visited Nederland, where that decade is still alive and well.
15. A. The game was broadcast to eager fans in Taiwan.
16. C. The eighty-year-old Lear, famous for All in the Family, joined the off-color show.
17. A. Go figure: for some reason, there's no Al in action.
18. C. He scored, helping his new team beat his hometown squad.
19. C. Four Williams and a Will have filled the mayoral bill.
20. B. Two years.
21. A. Feddy and the Dreamers was the label affixed to future mayor Federico Peña and company.
22. B. "Strong nonpartisan mayor" is the official, if vague, description.
23. C. Klansmen ruled in one of the sorriest chapters in state history.
24. D. Our first African-American mayor (take that, Ben Stapleton) went to the Ed of the class.
25. B. Sorry, Charlie.
26. D. Take that, Dems.
27. A. The guv loved his oatmeal, and used a series of oatmeal breakfasts to sell the metro area on building DIA.
28. D. Wilmawear for the ages! Priceless.
29. C. The stored waste is known as meconia -- although several informal names will do as well.
30. B. The lead singer wanted to know what the #@%$!x the bugs were doing.
31. C. Hummers were not part of the sample (neither were sparrows, pigeons, finches or songbirds).
32. B. Colorado should be nervous, because the prairie-dog population here has grown to an estimated 70 million, give or take a couple mil. (Those critters can be hard to pin down.)
33. C. John Popper and Blues Traveler like to explode at Red Rocks on July 4.
34. D. So-called "charity solicitations" were not among the top ten ear-benders.
35. C. The Segovia is so elegant that it sports -- gasp! -- multiple fireplaces. Hot times in Eagle.
36. B. The Greeley native was in a tussle.
37. B. A squad of Indy Joneses was sent to Mesa Verde to help preserve the ruins.
38. C. Anderson loved the sleep; whether the banned substances were better in Dove Valley, he never opined.
39. C. Some 500,000 lights are blazing on Larimer Street, at Union Station and along the 16th Street Mall.
40. C. MileHighMayor, another sign of the creativity for which the Hickenlooper regime is known.
41. D. None! The election was conducted by mail.
42. C. Stan and the Kroenke-ites hope to have something built by 2006. No site has been selected, but Coors Field may be vacant by then.
43. A. Under current agreements, title to various city structures will pass to the National Western organization that year.
44. D. Coosome twosome, now hitched on TV!
45. B. Yuta, from Japan, also stepped onto the hardcourt for the first time -- though he was soon cut.
46. D. Elevators were a later addition (and will be upgraded in the $75 million makeover of the rechristened Newton Auditorium, slated to open in 2005).
47. B. Scammy, leaving customers subject to possible ticketing.
48. A. Wild turkeys can bolt at speeds of up to 20 mph. Their wings don't stretch past five feet, so Boykins is bigger. Barely.
49. B. The first Yank, an American from Seattle, flaunted his wares during the run.
50. B. Playing together was their goal. Now if they'd only stay healthy.
