Letters to the Editor

From the week of January 8, 2004

Meow Nix

Dumb and dumber: While I don't condone violence against cute animals, I also do not condone the predictable letters to the editor written by dumb animals. I thought your December 25 Year in Review cover was shocking in a completely innocent manner. My young daughter enjoyed the shot (no pun) and has the common sense to distinguish a picture from reality. If these weekend crusaders -- think about the children! -- took the time to open your paper up to page 3, they would have gotten the shtick, which I believe was intended for those same folks.

Next time you put a gun to an animal's head on your cover, make sure it's a delicious animal, not a cute one.

Seth Howard

Kitty porn: Wow, déjà vu all over again. Westword is taking the same sniffy crap that the National Lampoon took thirty years ago over its "Buy This Magazine Or We'll Shoot This Dog" cover. The three copycats who feel your cover showed it's "okay" to shoot cats must react with even greater fury to Military History Quarterly; by their standards, its covers routinely show it's "okay" to bomb Pearl Harbor or invade Poland with Panzer tanks. And then there are the cowboy novels...

Ralph Jones
via the Internet

Puss 'n shoots: A single glance at the Perils of Puddy Tat cover of Westword's Year in Review and I just had to strap on my .44 Magnum -- the most powerful handgun in the world, punk -- and start bustin' caps on neighborhood housecats. Just to be safe, I wasted a couple or three prairie dogs in a Boulder County hayfield and some little rat that was jumping around in a meadow, too.

Welcome to the Nanny State. The hysterics who found the Puss 'n Shoots cover so terribly offensive (Letters, January 1) and are certain it sends marching orders to hunting packs of teenage pet-killers who lay in wait by red newsboxes every Thursday to see whether this week's issue of Mein Vestvord has -- finally! -- given them the subliminal command they've been hoping for, are the same birdbrains whose "experts" fell out of the litter box during the Cat Redrum Scare last year to screech that Fluffy and Fi Fi were being snatched and sacrificed to the Lord of Darkness. Um, Satan, not George W. Bush. Mothers, keep your babies close! If they've been declawed, anyway.

Ever since we learned to pronounce "Nader," the shadow of the wagging finger of the new Brahmins, Puritan liberals who know what's best, has grown ever longer, broader and darker. Now even a left-liberal newspaper like Westword can be brushed by that chilling shade for some cheesy Photoshop pasteup. You Libs let this exotic pet out to roam the stage. Do the few of you remaining who can still think for yourselves really believe you can just swat it on the nose and it won't spin around and rip out your own throats? Liberal sheep being herded ever further leftward by the snarling hounds of their own lunatic fringe have fearfully shed the materials for the rope the Nanny movement will use to hang us all. Right after the environmental impact statement, OSHA report and a dozen different public-interest groups release a joint white paper identifying the rope as "safe for most neck-stretchin' uses."

JM Schell

The Roan Ranger

Saving grace: I hope all of the people who were so offended by the kitty-in-danger cover still picked up the January 1 issue -- to see their predictably stupid letters, if nothing else. Because Alan Prendergast's "Raiding the Roan" was a classic example of the kind of journalism that makes Westword "required reading" every week. Excellent reporting, beautiful writing.

I hope everyone caught in the I-70 traffic this past weekend took a long, hard look through their car windows and realized how much of this beautiful state is in danger, from the Kansas to Utah borders. Don't stop with the Roan Plateau. Can Colorado itself be saved?

J.T. Hernandez

The big drill: Thanks for Alan Prendergast's outstanding article on the threats from gas drilling to Colorado's spectacular Roan Plateau. Like a lot of us on the Front Range, I've passed it by on I-70 many times. It wasn't until fall 2003 that I finally made it onto the top for a visit.

Hands down, the Roan Plateau is one of the most incredible landscapes in Colorado. Highlights of my trip included the best aspen-watching I've had in more than three decades of living in Colorado, encountering a flock of wild turkeys, and a three-mile round trip on foot to 200-foot East Fork Falls without another soul in sight.

Local governments across Garfield County have told the Bureau of Land Management that they want to protect the top of the plateau from unnecessary damage because of its importance to the local economy. Industrial drilling will extract short-term profits and then move on, leaving behind a mess that will forever impact the plateau's value as a tourist draw.

The Roan Plateau is a test case to see whether the conservative mantra of local control means anything when giant energy companies want to maximize profits. Directional drilling and "no surface occupancy" could extract much of the gas while preserving the natural qualities so crucial to local businesses, but, of course, that wouldn't be quite as lucrative.

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