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The Beatdown

Amazing what can be done with two turntables and a microphone.

At the end of the night came the Brawl for It All between Apostle and Kingdom, an event I'd been anticipating for a month. While Apostle bounced around like an anxious prizefighter, Kingdom looked indifferent -- almost as though he couldn't believe he was wasting his time on something like this. Apostle drew first blood with "Hey, Kool-Aid, you ain't never had to struggle"; Kingdom countered with "I got a weight problem, forget it/Your mom didn't have a problem with it."

"You ain't a kingdom/You ain't even a sand castle," Apostle ripped in round two. "I didn't know Jesus had a basshead Apostle," Kingdom responded. "This cat's a hypocrite talking about black power/He has a white chick/Talk about being local, but you sucking KRS-One's dick."

A few lines into his rhyme in round three, Apostle's flow sputtered. "I'm still hungry and you're obviously notŠ" The crowd and Kingdom smelled blood in the water. "I told you you'd choke/That's all she wrote," said Kingdom, then administered the knockout blow. "Shake my hand, we're from the same city," he urged, reaching out his hand -- and then pulling it back just as Apostle tried to grasp it.

Psych!

But finally the two shook hands. "There's no winner and no loser tonight," Kingdom said, putting the beef to rest.

And I went home fat and happy.

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