Dial Another Day

Twenty-four hours inside Denver radio: A survivor's story.

5:20 a.m. The Mix (100.3 FM)

Equally saucy is the banter between Mix hosts Dom Testa and Jane London. They're talking about favorite chores to do around the house, with everyone agreeing that laundry is easy. Later, Dom, catering to the Mix's demographic, declares that "cooking is a joy, not a chore." My excitement level just shot off the scale!

5:37 a.m. KBPI

Mark Poutenis
Mark Poutenis

Meanwhile, Willie B., Marc and D-Mak are mulling over car leases. I'm all a-quiver.

5:48 a.m. KHOW (630 AM)

As for talk host Peter Boyles, he's discussing reports that traces of the deadly poison sarin was found in an artillery shell near Baghdad -- a discovery that, according to many yakkers I heard during the night, proved there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. In discussing the charge that the mainstream media buried the story, Boyles is dismissive of what he calls "Michael Reagan characters." Doesn't he know on which side his bread is buttered?

6:00 a.m. KOA

Not too awfully long ago, before station consolidation and vigorous cost-cutting, Denver had several radio stations with live newscasts, news departments and reporters. No more: KOA's Morning News pretty much has the field to itself. As reporter Alex Stone reports from the scene of the I-70 girder collapse, he may be within earshot of journalists from newspapers and TV stations, but that's probably it. Progress? Doubt it.

6:27 a.m. KBCO

Morning host Bret Saunders discusses the girder accident with news reader Robbyn Hart -- and unlike most of his brethren, who compulsively try to wring chuckles out of everything, he moderates his tone, treating the subject with appropriate somberness. Doesn't seem like that should be a rare skill, but apparently it is. An hour and a half from now, KISS's Jamie and Danny will tackle the topic, and after keeping a straight face for as long as he can, Danny bursts into mock tears, proclaiming, "I'm feeling kinda sad!" Me, too, pal.

6:41 a.m. KS-107.5

In previous years, KS-107.5's music may have been urban, but its morning show would have fit in fine on many other stations. These days, the team of Larry Ulibarri, Kendall B. and Kathie J. are finally adding a little more flava, and that's a good thing. This morning, listeners are giving shout-outs to retiring Denver Broncos tight end Shannon Sharpe, a benign exercise that gets weird only when a woman with a breathy baby-doll voice declares, "King Kong, Tinkerbell's going to miiiisssss you." The trio breaks up laughing, but I don't, especially after a vivid picture of King Kong and Tinkerbell in a compromising position blooms in my brain. The hallucinations have begun.

6:57 a.m. KNRC

New KNRC morning host Jimmy Lakey doesn't help the situation much. He's running his mouth about a New York Times piece featuring quotes from Tom and Sue Klebold, parents of Columbine High School slayer Dylan Klebold -- but he's pronouncing the name "Clay-bold" instead of the more accurate "Klee-bold." Remembering Enid Goldstein's butchering of Archbishop Chaput's handle yesterday, I realize that at KNRC, the "both sides" motto must mean that its hosts are just as poorly informed no matter their ideology.

9:06 a.m. Jammin' 92.5

Now playing: Marvin Gaye's "Got to Give it Up." With a half hour to go in my marathon, that's good advice.

9:19 a.m. Jack FM

"We Didn't Start the Fire," by Billy Joel. That playing-what-I-want thing ended a long time ago.

9:36 a.m. The Fox

I'm back where I started 24 hours ago, only more so. Earlier on Tuesday, Lewis and Floorwax seemed a bit more like their old selves as they promoted a "beer-belly contest" and asked one potential contestant if he had "man boobs." Yet, as my time winds down, the two are discussing the repercussions of the CU-scandal report with attorney/KOA host Dan Caplis, and there are no jokes, no gags, nothing distasteful whatsoever.

No wonder I feel like sleeping.

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