Party Patrol

How low can you go? All the way, with these fabulously tacky theme parties.

Sustain your hardworking athletes by keeping the food coming and the drinks flowing. The menu should feature burgers, brats, potato salad and lots of keg beer, with Red Bull/Go Fast and vodka and tequila shots thrown in for those who are losing steam. If you're less competitive, break out the bocce ball and sangria for a lazy Italian-style afternoon.

Lacoste shirts, plaid pants and Sperry Top-Siders are the suggested attire for gentlemen; ladies can go with either a tennis skirt, Polo shirt and visor outfit or a bright Lily Pulitzer shift. Linen and seersucker suits are acceptable substitutes for both sexes.

To honor the big winners, give them homemade medals fashioned from ribbon and tin foil, and make them stand on top of blocks while you blare the "Star-Spangled Banner" extremely loud. God bless America -- and summer.

Velvet Touch

Sure you can throw fabulous parties at home, but sometimes you just want someone else to mix the cocktails. And don't worry about being on the wrong side of the velvet ropes: Public-relations guru Wendy Aiello has some insider advice on getting past the bouncers.

"Denver is a small town. It's not as hard to get on these party lists as you think," Aiello says. "There are only a handful of people in town throwing these parties, and we're pretty democratic. Find a friend who knows a friend who always gets invited, and ask them to have you added to the list."

If that doesn't work, pretend. "If you want to be sneaky, show up and casually give the doorman your name. When he says that you're not on the list, make a minor fuss. Swear that you called to RSVP, and they must have forgotten to write it down," she says. "But don't make too big of a scene. Whether or not you get in all depends on how you act, so act like you're supposed to be there. Whatever you do, don't be snotty."

And always dress appropriately. Sexy, low-slung Sevens will work most of the time, but always have a great summer dress for backup. As our mothers always said: Dress for where you want to be, not where you are. That goes for guys, too, so leave the ballcaps at home.

If none of these tried-and-true tips work, says Aiello, you can always duck in through the servers' entrance. Just "wait until later in the event; it's easier, because people are usually a lot more relaxed." -- Dunn

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