Off Limits

Clothes call

PP's screed, complete with out-of-date insults, hasn't prompted Crawford, a seven-year Army vet, to reassess his own patriotism. "Sending an unsigned letter is a bunch of crap, especially since he/she signed it 'Proud Patriot,'" Crawford says. "Hitler would like this person's kind of patriotism. If I could see him eye to eye, I would simply say, 'I respectfully disagree with you.' But since he is choosing not to see me, I'd like to kick his ass."

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

No one expected the Catholic Inquisition: If Proud Patriot hates Crawford, he'll really hate Gen. JC Christian, Patriot and his satirical blog, Patriot Boy, http://patriotboy.blogspot.com.

JC recently wrote to Bishop Michael Sheridan in Colorado Springs, suggesting a return of the Inquisition to ferret out Catholics who take communion but support stem-cell research and the right to an abortion:

I think we need to put the fear of God into them by reinstituting the Inquisition. Imagine how quickly errant parishioners would remove their Kerry bumper stickers once they'd been shown the instruments of confession.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, Patriot

Could be the Church is stuck in the Dark Ages, having not heard of Google or even checking a URL. Or perhaps it's just missing a sense of humor. Either way, the bishop's executive assistant, Peter Howard, sent this response to JC:

On behalf of Bishop Sheridan, I wish to acknowledge that he has received and read your email. He is sincerely grateful for your kind and supportive words. Please remember him in your prayers, as there are many Catholics, sadly, who disagree with the Catholic Church's teachings in these critical areas and attack the Church instead of support her.

Thus encouraged, the nameless blogger from Utah sent another missive to the Bishop, this time titling his letter "Excommunicating Coach Shanahan."

I did a bit of research and found three Catholics from your diocese who have contributed money to candidates who support abortion and stem-cell research. You may know them personally. Their names are Mike ShanahanEd Haselten and Jack Vickers. All three gave contributions to retiring Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell, who supports stem cell research. Mr. Vickers also supported Gale Norton in her various campaigns. She is pro-choice. That's a start. Please don't hesitate to write me if you need any further help. I'm also willing to assist with the Inquisition once you get it going. Pass the communion cup.

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