Talking Shop

Send me your awkward. Send me your lame, your pathetic, your tone deaf and talentless. Send me your William Hungs, your Roseanne Barrs, your not-really-that-good-a-voice-but-probably-knows-the-owners. Send them all to me, for I need them, all of your national anthem singers. That's right, you dreamers working awful day jobs, then crooning in the bathroom at night: The Pepsi Center wants you. Officials are scouring the Mile High City, searching for new talent to perform the anthem before Nuggets and Avalanche games.

"We've encouraged people to send in audition tapes before, but never on this scale," says the Pepsi Center's Jason Lindaman. "The turnout should be interesting."

Rob Ullman

Rob Ullman

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• David Citizen
• NHL Western Conference
• NHL Northwest Division
• Rodeo
• Professional Hockey

You said a mouthful, Jason. A Pepsi Center website link explains that the venue is looking for musicians to perform the anthem with an instrument. So whether you can wail like Hendrix on "The Star-Spangled Banner" or just squeeze your dog until it hits the high notes of "the rockets' red glare," you might have a shot at performing live in front of 18,000 people.

Applicants should send non-returnable VHS tapes to: Pepsi Center, attention National Anthem, 1000 Chopper Circle, Denver, 80204. Packets must include age, address and contact information, as well as a photo and/or press kit.

Oh, and familiarity with "O Canada!" is encouraged. -- Adam Cayton-Holland