Getting Your Goat

For the Melvins' Buzz Osborne, grunge means never having to say you're sorry.

She wears the pants in the family?

She wears a lot of different kinds of pants, depending on whatever mood suits her. We're actually very happy campers at this point. We've got a new record coming out that sounds great.

Pigs of the Roman Empire!

Hook 'em horns: Buzz Osborne (from left), Kevin 
Rutamanis and Dale Crover are the Melvins. The goat 
is their muse.
Hook 'em horns: Buzz Osborne (from left), Kevin Rutamanis and Dale Crover are the Melvins. The goat is their muse.


8 p.m. Wednesday, September 1, Gothic Theatre, 3263 South Broadway, $16, 303-788-0984

Yeah. It pretty much is what it says. We collaborated with this guy, Lustmord, who's had a long history of soundtrack-type stuff. And he added an element to our music that we actually hadn't had before, so it was really great. Thematically, we tried to cover areas we've never covered before and still have it fit in with everything we've done -- and not be completely over-the-top bullshit. And I think it worked.

Was it designed to go along with a film?

We took a movie that we really liked, and then we shut the sound off and made a new soundtrack for it. We redid it to our liking. The trick is now people have to go out and figure out what movie it is. But we're not gonna tell anybody. It fits in perfect. Pigs of the Roman Empire...I just like saying it. The Romans had a good run. I don't view them in the dim light that a lot of people do. They basically created society as we know it. People who think the Romans were bad should check out what the rest of the world was doing at the height of the Empire. Check out the Germanic tribes at that point -- loppin' off people's heads. They certainly weren't creating a senate or anything like that. The Romans were civilized compared to the rest of the world.

Crucifying people instead of impaling them?

Exactly. Actually, the Romans hung more people than they crucified.

Did you see Mel Gibson's Jesus movie?

I was on tour the whole time, but I heard it was great. What could be better than watching somebody get beat to death? I'm all for it. Beat that guy! Beat him!

Does the title of the new album comment on our current state of politics?

That's absolutely coincidental. I just liked the name. There's no political connotations. People can take that if they want to. I personally don't. I don't believe in either party. I'm a non-partisan. I think the Democrats and Republicans are cut from the same mold; they wear the same suits; they hire the same lawyers; and they're a bunch of fuckin' liars. I don't trust either of them.

So you won't waste your time voting?

Sure, I vote. But I wouldn't vote for a Republican or Democrat. No fuckin' way. Not a chance. I won't say who I'm backing. But it's not a Republican or Democrat. I wouldn't vote for either one of those scumbags.

Do you have any funny stories about Gene Simmons or Shirley Temple?

Shirley Temple was possibly one of the most hard-core people I've ever been around. She's a tough broad. I wouldn't want to fight her, that's for sure.

I worked at a bookstore where she came for a signing. She demanded chicken broth and a tablecloth long enough to cover her fat ankles.

Well, there you go. And she got it, didn't she? She's the real deal.

Would you ever want to collaborate on a song with her?

She wouldn't touch the Melvins with a ten-foot pole. But I've got marks all over my body from her touching me with a ten-foot pole.

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