Guy Walks Into a Bar...

The Lion's Lair celebrates one year of comedy -- sort of

 MON, 9/20

"Whether it's good or bad, it's always entertaining," notes Lion's Lair bartender Dermot Carroll about the bar's Monday open-mike comedy nights. Dermot has been serving drinks at the Lair, at 2022 East Colfax Avenue, since the first open-mike event, and he'll serve them again tonight for the Lion's Lair Open Mike Comedy One Year/18-Month Anniversary Show. In that time, he's seen pretty much everything. He once saw a Colfax stripper take the stage and roar through her routine atop a Nascar tire. "The worst nights are when I have to stop people from getting up on stage and beating Troy's ass because he's been ripping on them too much," Dermot explains, referring to the caustic emcee, Troy Baxley. "It passes the time." For the dozen or so regular comics who perform there most weeks, the Lion's Lair passes the time like an insatiable black hole, sucking them in and spewing them out, often aging them several years in a single evening, only to do it again the next week.

Occasional guest emcee Andrew Orvedahl offered this perspective: "When I first started performing, I was there one night and the cord fell out of the microphone. Suddenly, the world slowed down, and as I bent to retrieve the cord, a mantra formed in my mind: say something funny say something funny say something funny. I clicked the cord back into the microphone and -- nothing. Nothing remotely funny came to mind. I stammered a bit and finished up my set. On the drive home, I thought of about 850 funny things to say. It dawned on me that the Lion's Lair isn't about making the crowd roar with laughter; it's about experiencing the unexpected and learning from it. Drunk homeless man threatening your life? Done it. Guy starts playing loud pinball game as you start your first joke? Done it. 'Lady of the night' offers you a chance to see her fifty-year-old breasts during your set? Done it. Pack of rabid tapirs breaks in through the back door and trashes the place? Not yet, but maybe next week."

The laughter joins the river of life in the Lion's Lair 
Open Mike Comedy anniversary.
Derek Rippe
The laughter joins the river of life in the Lion's Lair Open Mike Comedy anniversary.
Derek Rippe

The Lair can draw local comic luminaries like Chuck Roy and Josh Blue, rising Denver stars like Ben Kronberg and Greg Baumhauer, or nervous first-timers with twenty smiling friends in tow. Tonight you'll probably see it all -- maybe even a pack of rabid tapirs.

The show, which is free, "starts" at 10 p.m., but expect to have a few drinks before the comedy gets going.

And don't forget to tip Dermot. -- Adam Cayton-Holland

Stew Stewards
A City Park potluck brings neighbors together
SUN, 9/19

"Whatever you do," my East High School soccer coach told the team our senior year before sending us on a three-mile run through City Park, "do not throw the freshmen into the lake." It was a cool, late-autumn afternoon, and the new, stern assistant principal was cracking down on so-called hazing. Toward the end of the run, with the handy excuse of "we ran through the sprinklers" agreed upon, we slowed down near the small pond across from Ferril Lake to introduce the new squad to the team. We told them to strip down to their shorts, as we had all done several years back, before watching them jump, one by one, into the brown water, carefully tucking their knees to avoid the assorted broken bottles and needles lining the lake bottom.

"But I thought coach told you guys not to throw us in," stammered one confused, prepubescent tot.

"You don't understand," an elder told him. "This is about bringing the team closer together. This is how we strengthen our community."

There are other ways, too. Today from 12 to 4 p.m., a more conventional community builder hits City Park, 17th Avenue and York Street, with the Denver Community Potluck, an event featuring food and music at the City Park bandshell. The potluck is not just for neighborhood residents; it's an opportunity for people from all over to meet while enjoying the park in a festive atmosphere. Attendees are encouraged to bring their own picnic gear. Call 303-378-9089 for details. -- Adam Cayton-Holland

Material Whirl
THURS, 9/16

Shoppers, don't overlook your LoDo retailers. The reborn neighborhood's eclectic storefronts, a blend of high-end, low-end and everywhere in between, are well worth a look-see. With that in mind, tonight's inaugural Shop in the City event, which borrows from the ambience of a gallery walk, offers downtown partyers an opportunity to learn what's nestled in between the sports bars, restaurants and nightclubs. More than twenty shops -- catering to chic fashion slaves, urban cowboys, audio-book listeners, pet owners, loft dwellers, hipsters, outdoor enthusiasts, holistic health nuts and dedicated winos -- will open their doors to the public from 5 to 9 p.m. And some will offer more than a visual introduction. For instance, at Riverfront Park, 1590 Little Raven Street, home-accessory emporium Chateaux is hosting an Asparagus Studio wrist-wrap trunk show, and the fine wine market Denver Cru will offer discounts and free champagne splits to buyers; drop by Zengo, at 1610 Little Raven Street, from 8 to 10 p.m., and you'll even be treated to free appetizers.

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