Ladies, the Commish is up for sale. Note his authentic Denver hipster look, complete with '70s mesh cap and short athletic shorts. His muscular thighs toned from years of captaining the Denver Kickball Coalition. The nonchalant stare and devil-may-care attitude.
For the right price -- minimum $10 bid, please -- he could be yours to do with as you please for an evening. And if he's not quite your Adonis, don't fret: Twelve other kickball bachelors will be on hand tonight at the hi-dive, auctioning off their ass-ets at the Do It for the Kids benefit.
"You can take them out and wine and dine them," says the Commish, aka Joe Phillips, "but you have to pay for all that. The guy doesn't have to put down a penny. Or you can have them come over and clean your gutters, rotate your tires. We'll have brochures with pictures and bios of each of them, with a list of their skills."
The Commish and his group of Sunday-morning post-hangover kickballers are coming out to raise money for Capitol Hill's Morey Middle School, where they've been playing -- sometimes surreptitiously, sometimes not -- for the past three years ("Boot It," May 15, 2003). Now that the season is over, Phillips figured they ought to give thanks somehow, so he got a handful of boys willing to be objectified, wrangled DJs Sara T and Tim Shady and auctioneer Sid Pink, and secured the hi-dive, one of Denver's premier hipster hangouts. Dancing starts at 9 p.m., and the first bachelor gets auctioned off at about 10:30, but organizers plan to rock till they can't stop, or 2 a.m. -- whichever comes first.
For information, call 720-570-4500 or go to www.hi-dive.com. -- Amy Haimerl
Hit the Dirt
Boulder Backroads goes off the beaten path
Runner's World magazine has called the Nike ACG Boulder Backroads Marathon one of the "best kept secrets" in the marathoning world. But the run itself, which drew some 2,700 participants last year, is very much out in the open. It hustles off from the Boulder Reservoir at 7 a.m. today, leading folks on a 26.2-mile roll through the winding, quiet dirt roads north of the college town. And while it's still low-key, this year's version is certified, allowing competitors to qualify their times for the Boston Marathon. For those not quite stoked for the long run, a half-marathon will start at 8 a.m. from the same spot. Both races finish up back at the reservoir.
The relatively new competition is unique because it "offers the feel of a big-city marathon in a rural environment," says director Lesley Kinder. "Runners get to closely interact with the local scene, which makes it different from other marathons."
Registration is $70 to $75, with a $10 discount for signing up in advance. For information, call 303-939-9661 or visit www.boulderbackroads.com. -- Richard Kellerhals