Nowhere Man

He was the perfect husband -- till debt do us part.

Simmons says she didn't want to be the only witness against her husband at trial.

In August, Lindstedt pleaded guilty in Broomfield to a single count of felony theft in the matter of his stepson's savings bonds, agreed to make restitution of $9,000 and received a deferred judgment. The Boulder District Attorney's Office hasn't announced whether it will file charges against Lindstedt; prosecutor Peter Hofstra declined to comment on the case.

The Broomfield plea failed to satisfy Simmons, who says the police have done little to determine what happened to the bulk of her savings. "I gave them a finished case except for the door to the banks," she says. "But they still haven't opened a single account to find out where the money went."

Lindstedt now lives in Oregon, where his family owns beach property. In his divorce filings, he reported that he was working as an insurance agent, with take-home pay of $517 a month. Under "other income," he stated, "Loans from father as needed." Simmons says that her ex hasn't made his $100-a-month child-support payments since January and that she hasn't spoken to him since last Christmas. "There's no reason to," she says. "He makes up crazy stuff."

Lindstedt had liked to share childhood memories with Simmons. There was one particularly funny story about how, while waiting in line at the grocery store, he'd watched in amazement as an enormous ham dropped out of the dress of the "pregnant lady" in front of him. The would-be shoplifter then loudly demanded to know who'd thrown a ham at her.

Months after her rude awakening, Simmons was watching one of those caught-on-tape TV shows that feature actual surveillance videos. There was the ham incident, right down to the shoplifter's protests of innocence.

"John doesn't exist," she says. "John is a body that puts on a different personality according to what the needs are. There was nothing I knew about the man."

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