By Joel Warner
By Michael Roberts
By Alan Prendergast
By Michael Roberts
By Michael Roberts
By Amber Taufen
By Patricia Calhoun
By William Breathes
We Hardly Knew Ye
A thirty-year-old nurse resigned from the federal prison system after confessing that she'd had sex with an inmate in a treatment room at a detention center in Florence.
Farrell Kaye, a disc jockey with Aspen's KSPN radio, was fired in October after corporate brass discovered that he was moonlighting as a stripper.
The Naked City
A female employee of an Aurora Burger King found herself naked on the job after a telephone prankster, who identified himself as a police officer, ordered the store's manager to strip-search her. The caller said the woman was wanted for theft. Once nude, the woman was also told to jog in place and lick the telephone. She has sued Burger King and the owner of the franchise.
Two female Air Force Academy students were expelled after officials learned they'd performed an exotic dance at a dormitory party in July. Five male students were also expelled when they admitted they'd encouraged the pair to strip, shimmy and grind for a throng of more than thirty guys.
In August, a federal prisoner escaped authorities near downtown Denver by feigning a leg injury to avoid being shackled around the ankles. The prisoner jumped from a transport van, stripped and fled to the Platte River Greenway wearing only his boxers. His orange socks were found near the Children's Museum.
A robber who held up a Compass Bank in July did a short striptease and ran away, then returned to the scene of the crime wearing jogging shorts and tennis shoes and carrying a wad of cash. He was caught by police six minutes after first leaving the bank.
• One hundred guns, stolen from Denver-area gun stores in a three-week period in May.
• A cache of powerful Trojan Boosters explosives used for avalanche control at the Winter Park ski area, stolen from a storage shed in March.
• 120,000 units of fifteen different controlled substances with an estimated street value of more than $600,000, which disappeared from a Golden pharmacy last year. In January, the pharmacy paid the federal government $625,000 to settle a civil lawsuit.
• A large iguana on the loose at Arvada High School after vandals broke in and smashed glass, including the reptile's tank.
• A colony of 40,000 to 100,000 bees living in the attic of a Commerce City home; the hive, rumored to be between a few and sixty cubic feet, could have held more than 150 pounds of honey.
• Three mutilated calves, with their genitals sliced off, in October in Moffat County.
• A black bear sitting in a tree in Fort Collins's Grandview Cemetery in September.
• Approximately forty boxes' worth of stolen goods -- including two skulls, bone fragments, pots and pottery shards -- that were turned over to the Anasazi Heritage Center in Dolores at the conclusion of a five-month, statewide artifact-amnesty program designed to recoup items looted from Indian tribal lands.
• Thirty dogs, three cats, 23 horses, two pigs, two peacocks, two donkeys, two emus, two llamas, a steer and a rooster, confiscated from the home of a Parker woman in October.
• A donkey to carry Mary in Pueblo's Posada celebration, a re-enactment of Joseph and Mary's search for shelter, on Christmas Eve. Organizers had scrambled to find a replacement for the old donkey, who died last year at age 28; for Christmas 2003, Mary had to walk.
• Joseph Allen Striegle, aka Robert Lemcool, a 51-year-old auto-parts salesman who had escaped from a Michigan prison in 1981. In December, he was arrested in the parking lot of a Westminster Wal-Mart after 23 years on the lam.
• The Bandage Bandit -- also known as the No Nose Bandit because the bandages he wore around his face during seventeen bank robberies sometimes flattened his nose -- was nabbed by Littleton police in March.
• The Big Man Bandit, who liked to beat up and rob the elderly, was nabbed in January.
• Corporate Jim, a well-dressed, lifelong robber who hit five banks after being released from federal prison in May, was nabbed by the FBI in Arvada.
Still at Large
• The Marlboro Bandits, a gang consisting of a man, woman and teenage boy who stole nothing but cigarettes during a string of robberies in Lakewood and Denver. The trio made off with more than a hundred cartons.
Who That Masked Man Was
Believing that their store was about to be held up, in February employees of a Glenwood Springs Wal-Mart called police after a man walked in wearing a ski mask, a snowsuit and silver moon boots. Police soon discovered that the would-be robber was Michael Jackson, who was staying on a 56-acre ranch in Snowmass with his children. Jackson also visited a nearby Wolf Camera, where he spoke to a clerk in a fake French accent and bought a laser pointer.
A clown suit.