Who'd think a shot called Don't Name Your Fucking Kid After Me would lead to a tongue-in-cheek throw-down? After I wrote about that concoction a few weeks ago, I heard from Carl Johansen, the good-natured fellow who says he not only invented the shot when he was at Herman's, but that the imposter poured there (Absolut Mandrin vodka, Midori, pineapple and a splash of cranberry) was an appalling, bastardized version of the original ($4.75) of Absolut Citron, Midori, pineapple and a splash of cranberry. So a friend and I visited Carl at his current place of work, Cricket on the Hill, and determined that he was right: Citron v. Mandrin? Puh-lease. While we held down the bar, Carl entertained us with war stories, including one about a cocktail he made back in his drinking days called "All Women Suck and I Wish You'd Leave Me the Fuck Alone." He said it was a great drink, but since he invented it while drunk, he can't quite re-create it. But Carl definitely knew how to make my favorite shot of the evening, Drinking Vicariously Through You ($4.75), which consists of cherry liqueur, Stoli Cranberi, cranberry juice and sweet and sour. It's a classic cocktail for a classic Capitol Hill hang that promises, "You come here for one drink and we end up calling a cab." Good idea: Sobriety is best left to the bartenders.