Nightmare Before Blistmas

A couple of Christmases ago, in a now-infamous installment of the Beatdown (December 18, 2003), I wrote some pretty harsh shit about Blister 66 frontman Chris Dellinger. I accused him of aping every trend for the past decade, said that Vanilla Ice and Jonathan Davis had called asking for their collective personae back, and announced that he had beaten the Zombie-Korn-Bizkit horse to death. I have to admit, I was a little hard on the guy. Even so, the only thing I wanted for Christmas that year was for Dellinger and his wack-ass band to just go away. Well, I got my wish. Two years later, rap metal and Blister 66 are both deader than disco.

Reunited, and it feels so good.

Details

With King Rat and Cherry Bomb Suicide, 7 p.m. Friday, December 16, Ogden Theatre, 935 East Colfax Avenue, $7, 303-830-2525

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More About

• Chris Dellinger
• Jonathan Davis
• Jason Lee
• Duane "Dog" Chapman
• My Name Is Earl

Fast-forward to this past Tuesday night. I was sitting in my living room watching My Name Is Earl when the Ghost of Christmas Past visited me. Bearing a strange resemblance to Dog Chapman, the Ghost duct-taped me to my La-Z-Boy, pried my eyes open with clamps and forced me to relive all the shitty things I've done over the years. It was absolutely horrible, man. Horrible. Turns out I fell asleep with the TV on and was just having a fever dream. But it got me to thinking: That Jason Lee fella is on to something. So I decided to give Dellinger a call to try to make amends.

Westword: Sorry about trashing you in my column a few years back, Chief. No hard feelings, eh?

Chris Dellinger:No hard feelings whatsoever, bro.

It's been a long time since I last spoke with you. What bandwagon are you -- er, sorry, there I go again. What I meant to say was, what band are you in these days?

Snapstick Dynamite and Dos Locos are the main things I'm working on right now. Snapstick is a punk-metal hybrid, sort of loud and obnoxious. And Dos is just straightforward hip-hop, with nothing else.

Nice. Hey, speaking of trash, I understand you've gotten Blister back together for a White Trash Christmas reunion. Isn't it a little premature to be digging up that dead horse? I mean, it'll be at least another decade before rap metal is cool again.

[Laughing] It's never too soon to dig up a dead horse. Matter of fact, the sooner you dig 'em up, the more fresh they are. People still haven't forgotten.

So what, exactly, is a "White Trash Christmas"?

It is the gaudiest, most offensive show on earth. We're doing two sets, with about four songs from each CD we've done. The first set's going to be the newer shit with the new-school players. And the second set will be the Philo and Pfeiffer years. It'll cover everybody that put in a good amount of time in Blister.

Is the show meant to reflect Christmastime when you were growing up?

Of course. Where do you think the inspiration came from? It's pretty much the exact same thing: Plenty of drunk relatives falling all over themselves, presents wrapped in newspaper, somebody making a complete ass of themselves, NASCAR on TV -- you know, the typical family fun stuff.

Sounds like good times.

Yeah, it should be retarded.