Finding Nemo

I'm in way over my head at the Aquarium.

After that, we just had to sample the efforts of the Aquarium's pastry staff. The spiced strawberry shortcake was a tumbled pile of shortcake rounds that tasted like quartered grocery-store angel-food cake, ladled with unspiced strawberries in out-of-a-can strawberry syrup, covered with whipped cream and crowned with a tuille cookie that was supposed to look like a seahorse but instead resembled Abraham Lincoln in profile.

For all this, we paid a hundred bucks.

And yet I returned again.

Tanks for the memories: The Aquarium takes diners 
to the culinary depths.
Mark Manger
Tanks for the memories: The Aquarium takes diners to the culinary depths.

Location Info


Aquarium Restaurant

700 Water St.
Denver, CO 80211

Category: Restaurant > Seafood

Region: Northwest Denver


700 Water Street, 303-561-4450. Hours: 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Sunday-Thursday, 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Friday-Saturday

Parking: $6
“Shiver Me Timbers” cocktail: $8
Draft Fat Tire: $5.25
Shrimp-and-crab dip: $9.99
Lettuce wraps: $12.99
Sea bass: $20.99
Captain’s Platter: $23.99
Mixed grill: $26.99
Grilled chicken pasta: $15.99

This time, I went no further than the Dive Lounge. What I wanted was my Hunter Thompson, Circus Circus Merry-Go-Round bar moment, haggling with a midget over the price of a polar bear (or, in this case, with a drunken marine biologist over the price of my own otter). Instead, what I got was pleasantly smashed while servers bad-mouthed the customers and customers bad-mouthed the servers; while Harry Connick Jr. sang zydeco Christmas carols and the sharks swam languidly by, dreaming of eating Santa; while kids smeared boogers on the glass of the tank; while the hordes of people came and went and came again. What I got was another vision of my own private hell.

And now I'm done, comforted by the assurance that I don't have to go back to the Aquarium anytime soon, but knowing that someday -- someday far in the future, I hope -- I'll be there for all eternity.

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