Strange but True

A year of dysfunctional family values -- and missing panties.

Who Was That Sensible-Car-Driving Man?

One early morning in July, an unidentified man parks his car along the side of Canyon Ranch Road in Castle Rock and frees five horses from a burning barn. As firefighters arrive to fight the big blaze, the man flees in a Subaru station wagon.

For the Record

In June, University of Colorado student Leo Chau and his friend, Sean Duffy, set the world record for land crawling when they crawl 33 miles across Colorado Springs to raise money to help combat pediatric AIDS.

School Stinks

Sky Vista Middle School in Aurora is evacuated in September after a strong, noxious odor overwhelms the school's upper west wing. Fire and rescue teams trace the odor to a stinky sink in a classroom, which is emitting a dangerously high level of sewage gas.

There's the Rub

In October, a Denver District Court jury awards Michelle DeYoung $40,000 in her suit against a massage company that operates out of DIA -- and videotapes its customers' rubdowns without their knowledge. DeYoung, a management consultant from Washington, D.C., says she'd had approximately 24 airport massages before she learned that the sessions were being recorded; in 2002, she sued for invasion of privacy and outrageous conduct. According to the massage company's owner, the video cameras were installed to discourage bad behavior by clients -- many of them from Europe and Asia -- who expect a different kind of massage than those offered in the terminal.

They Say We Were Monkeys/

I Think Their Heads Are Stuck in the Ground 'Cause They're Too Busy Diggin'/And Puttin' the Bible Down!

In September, ApologetiX, a Christian band that describes itself as "Weird Al Yankovic meets Billy Graham," entertained 1,500 teens, youth-group leaders and parents who flocked to Focus on the Family's Dare 2 Dig Deeper apologetics conference in Colorado Springs. In addition to "Monkey Scheme," ApologetiX performed its own version of "Stacy's Mom (Has Got It Going On)," this one titled "JC's Mom (Has Got a Growin' Son)."

6,000 Years

The age of Planet Earth, according to Rusty Carter and Tyson Thorne of BC Tours, which offers "biblically correct" tours of the Denver Museum of Nature & Science. The tours also dismiss the museum's prehistoric exhibit as "a lie," maintain that God "spoke fish into existence," and declare that Hitler, as well as Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, were evolutionists.

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