La Bohème

The bottom line on a third birthday bash.

Girls, girls, girls -- and Bush. The husband of Gwen Stefani (what's-his-Gavin-face) should be stoked that his sissy '90s grunge band is still making the rounds at the DJ booth, especially when it was "Everything Zen" blaring through the speakers last week at La Bohème (1443 Stout Street). Other classics that incited boob-shaking and butt-slapping: "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," by Green Day, and "Don't Cha," by the Pussycat Dolls. But maybe the DJ wasn't trying to be ironic with his selection; he seemed pretty sincere when he prefaced a Pantera ballad with the announcement, "Somewhere in rock-and-roll heaven, Dimebag is shredding!"

Although if Dimebag were really at this gentleman's club, he might find his hands stroking something other than his guitar.

La Bohème is throwing quite a celebration to toast three years of prosperity in the T&A business. The May 20 kickoff party also rolled out the welcome mat to new general manager Matt Dunafon, fresh off thirteen years of working at the infamous Shotgun Willie's. And, boy, was that move hot news. Dunafon didn't just have a long history with his previous employers -- hell, he was family. Shotgun owner Deborah Matthews is married to (gulp) Dunafon's father, and since Dunafon the younger left the business, he says he's gotten nothing but the silent treatment from the folks back home. "We're not speaking right now," he admits. "It's unfortunate, and I hope that changes someday. I don't want a club feud." That's a nice thing to say, particularly since Stepmom and Dad threatened to sue Matt earlier this year for violating a non-compete contract that he'd signed back in December. "I don't have any trade secrets," Dunafon says with a laugh. "It's just hot chicks and cold beer."

And he's right. The downtown venue -- which has the city's oldest adult-entertainment license and was once the scruffy Red Garter -- lives up to its billing as a "gentlemen's cabaret," with an extensive wine menu, plush seating and an atmosphere that's more class than crass. Oh, and of course there are attractive, scantily clad women, too. "It's lawyers sitting next to plumbers next to bikers next to drywall guys," says Dunafon. "Drop your daytime jobs, look at pretty women and enjoy yourself. Men can be men here."

Plus, the focus on customer-service freebies gives everyone a chance to play like 50 Cent and get all VIP up in it. From 11:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday, La Bohème offers a free buffet of prime rib and roast beef; the gorge-fest is followed by a no-cover happy hour from 4 to 7 p.m., with half-price drinks and free (there's that magic word again) sushi appetizers. Even the hundred-plus exotic dancers who rotate shifts throughout the week are treated to extra amenities here, including personal showers and tanning beds.

The anniversary party continues with a big bash May 25 and a grand finale Saturday, May 27, featuring special appearances by Wicked Pictures adult star Nicole Sheridan and Playboy Playmate Miss Lisa. For more of the naked truth, log on to www.labohemegc.com; for bottle and table reservations, call 303-588-5889.

 
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