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Snakes on a Plane: The Album (Decaydance/New Line)

Get these motherfucking emo bands off this motherfucking album. No, really: Get these motherfucking emo bands off this motherfucking album.

The soundtrack accompanying what's arguably the year's most anticipated cheese-horror flick is a giant mess -- mainly because it's full of pounding, stuttering dance remixes of songs by new-punk kingpins such as Panic! At the Disco, The Academy Is... and Fall Out Boy. Perhaps teens who spend afternoons perfecting a myspace pout might twirl around their bedrooms to a hi-NRG version of Jack's Mannequin's "Bruise," or groove to the hip-hop cool of Gym Class Heroes' "New Friend Request" (which is about, uh, myspace). But these alternate versions don't improve on the originals -- nor are they interesting on their own merits. Only Cee-Lo Green's catchy (and very Gnarls Barkley-esque) "Ophidiophobia" and a surprisingly delicate acoustic version of Coheed & Cambria's "Wake Up" feel remotely fresh.

Save your pennies for the booze you know you're going to sneak into a midnight showing of the film rather than buying this dreck.

 
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