Third Annual Adult Filmstar Ball

La Bohème

Dudes like boobs. Dudes also take pleasure in knocking back a few while looking at boobs. And dudes especially enjoy folding dollar bills lengthwise and offering them up for a bit of shake-boobs-in-face time. A business model working off these facts is nearly foolproof; the boobs don't even have to be real. And, boy, was it ever a saline and silicone fest two Saturdays ago at La Bohème (1443 Stout Street), when the Third Annual Adult Filmstar Ball brought out all the big, um, names in the industry. Girls from Vivid, Wicked Pictures, Club Jenna and even a couple of Playboy gals were all hot to trot in barely-there costumes and impossibly skinny corsets.

La Bohème's regular showgirls, all 150 of them, were also out that night, vying for equal attention from a starstruck crowd that numbered in the low thousands. But the local sexpots needn't worry about their night jobs: An easy way to separate the porn stars from the exotic dancers is to note how ineptly a woman of the cinema will shake her ass to "Welcome to the Jungle," by Guns N' Roses. This is the greatest strip-club song ever written, and should definitely be reserved for a professional.

The rest of the evening consisted of the usual cabaret business -- topless girls and stiff drinks -- and after a couple hours of watching men watch women slap their own butts for a paycheck, it was about as exciting as a voyeur-cam in a nunnery. But the music didn't entirely suck (odd how Raconteurs tunes fit so well), and catching a glimpse of the Pleasure Dudes pawing at girls was enough to make the night feel productive.

Ogle the rest of the La Bohème calendar at www.labohemegc.com or call 303-820-3212 for more information.

Meanwhile, this update on the suddenly closed Starlight comes from Kevin Kirchner, former booker for the Fort Collins venue. "I took a job in Telluride at the Rock and Roll Academyteaching and shooting videos of kids rocking out," he wrote in an e-mail to Club Scout. "Due to this change, the owners decided to sell the place. They did not want to continue without me, and so it is on the market. There are many interested parties, so I doubt it will be down long."

 
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