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X Marks the Spat

Bad taste is not against the law!

Maxim magazine wants to tighten the straps on its scantily clad brand, and the lad rag recently filed a trademark-infringement lawsuit in Florida District Court against Maxxim Men's Club and Steakhouse, a Tampa strip joint. But while this might seem to bode bad news for the Maxim,a "show club and eatery" that in October transformed the space at 1196 South Santa Fe Drive that for many years had been the notoriously feeble Paper Tiger (Off Limits, November 17, 2005), club owner Gary Cohn says that he hasn't gotten any legal threats from the mega mag owned by Dennis Publishing Inc.

"We don't have anything in here that says anything about the magazine," Cohn explains. "We don't say we're affiliated with the magazine or anything."

When they took over, Cohn and a partner decided to update the interior of the topless cabaret with a new kitchen and staff as a way to capitalize on future development around the soon-to-be-demolished Gates factory -- not to become Maxim's doppelgänger. (A few pretenders have been known to hang out at the club, however; see "The Impersonator.") Though DPI reportedly has held the trademark to the name "Maxim" since 1997 and has registration pending on related handles -- Maxim Steakhouse, Maxim Lounge, Club Maxim and Maxim Hotel -- Cohn's group holds a trademark to the name "The Maxim," he says.

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office "wouldn't have given it to us if it wasn't available," he continues. "We just thought it sounded good. It had a nice ring to it."

There oughtta be a law:Yes, we know the Fair Housing rules are a little less stringent for roommate ads than outright rentals. Still, you'd think that the University of Denver Sturm College of Lawwould be fairly strict about the ads it approves for posting at the school.

And if you thought that, you'd be as surprised as the Off Limits operative who recently saw an ad posted by "Male DU Law 3L," seeking "responsible male DU law roommate." And not just responsible, but "MUST BE CLEAN. MUST BE COOL. MUST BE STRAIGHT."

With sensibilities like that, Male DU Law 3L seems destined for a job at the office of the Colorado Attorney General, where, at an "Employee Appreciation" meeting earlier this summer, a group offered this to the tune of "Don't Fence Me In"

Oh, you've got jobs, lots of jobs, lots of menial jobs

Don't fence me out.

Let me sneak up the creek to the jobs that I love

Don't fence me out.

Oh let me work, picking crops, using mops and so on

And round your houses you will hear me mowin'

In the heat of summer I'll be hoein'

Don't fence me out.

Just turn me loose and I'll march 'round the arch waving Mexican flags

On my cayoose, I will gather your refuse and put it in trash bags Š

I want to run to the border when I see those dollars

If there's a chance for loot, you know I'll foller

Working day and night you'll hear me holler

Don't fence me out.

Get down, Denver:Wouldn't you love to live in Boogie Wonderland for just one day?

It could have (and should have) happened on August 28, when Earth, Wind and Fire played a benefit concert at the City Lights Pavilion for the American Transplant Foundation. Since several EWF mainstays, including frontman Philip Bailey, spent their formative years in Denver, they're deserving of special recognition -- and they received some back in the '90s, when an "Earth, Wind and Fire Day" was designated by then-mayor Wellington Webb, who attended Monday's concert with his wife, Wilma.

Webb's successor, John Hickenlooper, had a chance to take things to the next level: He could have temporarily renamed the city Boogie Wonderland, after one of the group's biggest hits, and had all of Denver humming "I find romance when I start to dance in Boogie Wonderland." Unfortunately, when Hickenlooper spokeswoman Lindy Eichenbaum Lent was approached on show day with this stellar suggestion, she laughed -- laughed! -- before saying it was too late to make the fantasy a reality.

Fine. But the Hickenlooper administration should consider this fair warning: If Denver isn't christened Boogie Wonderland the next time Earth, Wind and Fire hits town, the funk will hit the fan.

Scene and herd:Also in the audience at Earth, Wind and Fire Monday was Denver Election Commission spokesman Alton Dillard, showing his East High colors even as Denver City Council was deciding -- again -- not to put any proposed revisions of the commission structure on the November ballot. And Hal Haddon, attorney for the Ramsey family and Kobe Bryant, whose partner on that case, Pamela Mackey, is now representing Vincent "Don Vito" Margera,the Viva La Bamregular popped for allegedly groping girls at Colorado Mills (Off Limits, August 24). And Gerald Albright (see The Beatdown), who wound up sitting in with the band.

All together now: "I find romance when I start to dance in Boogie Wonderland."

 
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