This was especially true when the Adult Film Stars Ball brought dozens of high-profile adult studs and starlets, as well as some 2,000 attendees, to the club last year. Alhough La Bohème was the main backer of the event, Mike provided a significant number of sponsors, such as Pleasures. And porn stars.
He made many of these connections through his notoriety as a Pleasures Dude. "He might have started out in commercials, but then it turned into this kind of late-night-oddity TV show, almost like helmet-cam," Migliaccio notes. "Guys identify him; people see him."
Anthony Camera
Naked ambition: Mike Wheeler (left) and Fred Gates seek out strippers and porn stars for their late-night infomercials.
The Pleasures principle: Midget strippers wrestle for the camera inside Mike's home.
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But not too many people are thrilled to see the Pleasures Dudes right now. While a few men in their forties respond well to Mike's offer of free hats and T-shirts, most of the other guys stare right past them. Mike's attempt to gain laughs by rating one dancer a 2 out of 10 falls flat. He returns to the VIP room, has his chalice filled with a margarita, and passes the time by playing "Shoot the Stripper in the Butt" with his suction gun and riding yet another dancer like a horse. When the camera light goes off, he returns to his chalice while Fred listens to a group of guys discuss their dreams of one day becoming porn stars.
Mike starts talking about his parents and what it was like being a child actor. The music is loud and it's hard to hear, but his bitterness is clear. All the money he made acting was gone before he was old enough to legally spend it. He looks at the club's clientele with their flashy clothes and wads of cash, and suddenly becomes nostalgic for the working-class environs of Dandy Dan's.
"These guys here, they're all rich," he broods. "My father never gave me a dime."
He doesn't like the club any better when a bouncer comes in and tells them that they have to leave because the musicians "don't want cameras in here." As the Dudes exit La Bohème, they pass Travis Barker, Mark Hoppus and other members of +44 entering.
"How about I piss on this Bentley?" Mike asks.
"If you do that, I'll have to kill you," a guy standing by the car says matter-of-factly. He looks like a bodyguard and has a British accent.
Mike pretends he doesn't hear. "Watch this," he says. "This might be an event." As he walks up to the car, the crew gets out the cameras. The bodyguard doesn't move. Mike stops, stands and stares at the Bentley, talking on his cell phone.
The Hummer is parked nearby. "Let's get out of here," Mike orders, and the Dudes get in.
Fred has his usual grin, but his partner is miffed. "If they're going to out-famous me, they can go fuck themselves," Mike says. "Because I'm fucking for real. I want to be nice, have fun. So what if we take a few pictures? Fucking N' Sync hooks us up. Fucking Mike Tyson hooks us fucking up, you know? I can tell you straight up that given the right place and time, Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson probably would let us get hooked up. Blink whatever!"
The limo drops Fred off at home. He waves as Mike continues to punch numbers into his BlackBerry.
He's still a little hurt by the way La Bohème handled the situation. The managers could have at least come over and talked to him instead of having some "bouncer bitch" order him to leave like he was a nobody. But then his mood begins to brighten. The night wasn't a total bust, he offers: "riding some chicks horsey-back, some fun stuff." If a jackass like Rusty Boner can mess with beautiful women, then normal guys might get up the nerve to approach females they feel intimidated by. That's who all these stunts are for, he insists -- the dudes. "Doing stuff that normally guys wouldn't do with girls is always some fun stuff."
(Later, in the cold, sober light of day, Mike will carefully explains how grateful he is to La Bohème and Dandy Dan's and anyone else he may have inadvertently maligned this night. He'll be so thankful for all the opportunities he's been given, so totally grateful, he'll sound like he's making a self-conscious Emmy acceptance speech. The guy who shows up to work deals for Cross Promotions wears a suit and tie -- and is definitely not Rusty Boner. "Mike's a pretty happy guy, not very doom and gloom, and people have a love/hate thing," Migliaccio says. "He's got some pretty thick skin. But people don't realize that there are two individuals there.")
The limo comes to a stop before Mike's house. The driver opens the door, and Mike gathers all the empty dildo packages and release waivers signed by the strippers who were filmed, including Laela. He's already thinking of his next adventures, like midgets wrestling on the top floor of his house and the Adult Video News Awards this month, when the Pleasures Dudes will head to Las Vegas and find some famous porn stars to shoot.
It's difficult walking in his platform shoes, but he makes it past the gate and over the bridge that traverses the empty dirt hole in his front yard. One day it will be filled, probably stocked with koi. But piranhas would be totally sweet.
